Watching v. Doing

In my discussions with people about things that should change in our Order and things that should stay the same, I have come across a very funny dichotomy. It has arisen in a couple of different contexts and I think I understand the problem, but I haven't yet figured out how we get around it. The split is between what people prefer to do v. what people prefer to watch. I mean, in a more ordinary context, this split is easy to work with. I didn't have any trouble understanding my doctor sister when she told me that shots are easier from the plunger end of the syringe. I get that. And giving is certainly better than receiving when it comes to bullets, bombs and cold germs. Again, no big brain teaser here. And of course, there's that study that one of the newspapers sponsored which asked what you like most about lawyers and what you hate most about lawyers. The answers were that the two things people liked most about lawyers were that they would keep what you told them in confidence and that they were on your side and would really fight for you. And of course the two things people hated most about lawyers were that we are so secretive and so argumentative. Funny how that works. But then we come to the more difficult dilemmas of two halves of the same coin, which first came up in connection with a discussion I had with some members about the form of Official Visits which they enjoyed. The particular group of members that I was speaking with started off by telling me that they liked the traditional style of Official Visit better than any other kind because they enjoyed getting to display their skill in our ceremonial work to the visiting dignitaries. Okay, I said, that is good to know, but can I ask you another question? They said yes, so I asked them this: If you had to attend an Official Visit in another District, not your own, and you were not going to be participating, just watching, what kind of Official Visit would you like to see? Can you believe that more than half of them said that they would rather attend a Social Style Official Visit? When asked why, they said it was because if they weren't going to be able to participate, they'd rather have an interesting and informative speaker and more social and refreshment time. If they have to sit there for two hours, they'd rather eat, hear a good program and visit with their friends. So I asked them well, then would you like to put on that sort of program for your Official Visit? And I got back, oh no, we like doing the traditional style ourselves. So then I asked them if they were happy with the number of people who came to their Official Visit, which was traditional style and earlier in the year, and they said that they enjoyed the people who came, but of course it's always nicer to have more. So here's the puzzle. How do you close the gap for groups like this who want to do one thing, but want to watch the other thing? In some areas, this is not a problem because both answers are the same, they prefer the same kind of OV, coming and going, but lots of areas seem to have this conundrum. It is a puzzlement! I have also seen this problem in clothing choices. Sometimes the same people who like to see others in formal wear prefer to dress less fancy themselves. Again, some people have the same preference both ways either formal or less formal for themselves and everyone else, which is easy to deal with, because you know what they want. But what do you do with the ones who want one way for themselves and something else for others? Help! I hope someone else comes up with a good idea for dealing with this dilemma before I inherit this particular difficulty. :-) Next weekend, I will be in Redding and Yreka. If the weather holds good, I will fly myself up there and back home. I am not going all the way to Oregon and will miss Orland because I will be in Sacramento on business.