Extra, Extra, Read All About It

By mail and by e-mail, I have the pleasure of receiving newsletters from various Chapters and groups throughout the state. I enjoy hearing about the different Chapter activities and community service projects and in most Chapters, the line officers write little articles, so I get to see some words and thoughts from my girls. Even if I don't read the whole newsletter, I love to read those parts. But a friend of mine who has done this journey told me that when she became Associate Grand Matron, the year before she reached the top, she stopped reading the newsletters. I asked her why that was and she introduced me to the concept of Didn't See It. In some ways, this concept is similar to Don't Ask, Don't Tell, but goes a little farther in a different direction because it has to do so. You see, there are all sorts of rules that may not make a lot of sense, but nevertheless are rules that have to be followed. For example, no gambling is allowed to be sponsored by a Chapter at any time, as it is viewed as inconsistent with our principles, but Chapters are allowed, under very strict conditions, to have a Bingo night as a fun event. To keep it from being gambling, you can't sell extra cards for extra chances to win, you can't use the event money to give cash prizes, and a bunch of other rules to keep this to just a fun social event, like playing Parcheesi or Life or Yahtzee or Monopoly or any other family board game. (I must say though that I have seen some people play just a vicious game of Monopoly. If you want to see a person's true character, you can divorce them, split an inheiritance with them or play Monopoly. Anyone one of the three will give you a very clear snapshot!) Well, there is some other game with which I am not familiar, which is called Bunco, which I am told is sort of a dice game which a lot of people now play instead of Bingo. It is very popular in a lot of areas in the state, I am told. However, it is not an allowed game currently because the Bingo exception does not yet include Bunco. So some Chapters have held a Bunco night and they've advertised it in their Chapter newsletter and some of those Chapters have been told that you can't do it and they ask why and there is no good answer other than "That's the Rule." I don't really know enough about the game to know why the rules aren't changed to cover both Bingo and Bunco, but I do know that we are not in a position to change the rule and it is what it is. The other side of the problem is when people ask you for permission to do something that you know they can't do. For example, I have heard that there is one area where they hold Poker Runs, another thing I had never heard of before. I am told that a traditional Poker Run used to be held with motorcycles or ATVs, but nowadays, they can be done with any sort of vehicle. People go to different locations to pick up playing cards and when they get back to the starting point they have a meal and whoever has the best poker hand gets money or prizes. It is unquestionably a NOT PERMITTED activity for a Chapter. But every now and then, someone will bring it up to a leader type person and ask for permission to do it and then they get upset when the permission is not forthcoming. My friend said that the problem with being AGM or WGM and reading the newsletters is that if you know that a Chapter is violating the rules or about to violate the rules, then you are honor bound to do something about it because you are supposed to be the Chief Executive, the Enforcer of All Rules, Big and Small, Who Sees All, Tells Little and Does The Right Thing. So if you read an article that a Chapter is having a Bunco night, your duty would be to call the head of that Chapter and tell them they can't do it. Who wants to do that? Or if they ask you for permission to do something they are not supposed to do, you not only have to tell them no, you have to follow up to make sure they don't do it. Bleah! Don't Ask, Don't Tell doesn't work here because the Chapter is already telling the whole, wide world about their Improper Activity or asking you for permission to do it. I truly believe that our members try very hard to follow all our rules and that they don't set up these sorts of activities knowing they are doing wrong. The ones that are asking for permission are especially trying to do what is right, but it is disappointing to have to tell them no. The last thing you want to do is crush someone's enthusiasm, especially for an event that friends and family members might really enjoy. We want those sorts of things for our members and our Chapters. But if you know that they are violating a rule, you have to be the bad guy and squelch it. Thus enters the more workable policy Didn't See It. If you don't read the newsletters, you don't have to act on what's in them. If you didn't see the bad thing, you don't have to stop the bad thing. That doesn't stop people from telling you what they are doing and having to tell them that it is against the rules and nothing spares you the heartache of having to deny permission to earnest people who are asking because they are really trying to do the right thing, but at least you don't have to cancel someone else's party over something that you read in the newsletter they sent to you in all innocence. The policy may seem like you are trying to shirk your duty, but truthfully, nobody likes a person who goes looking for mistakes and opportunities to scold, so not looking for trouble seems okay for me, at least for now. So for this year and next year I will keep reading the newsletters and getting the news. After that, I may have to stop reading them or maybe have someone else censor them for me and just give me the good and safe parts to read. Next weekend, I am in Yorba Linda for our Festival at our Senior Living Community. It is a Sand and Surf theme and promises to be great fun.