Living in the Country

This past weekend found me wandering hither and yon in the Sierra valley area of California. For those not familiar with this piece of lovely countryside, I will start by saying that there are parts of California where the best way to reach them is to go into Nevada and then turn around and drive back into California. As backwards as this sounds, anyone from Beckwourth, Portola, Vinton or Susanville will tell you that it is accurate. You go to Reno and then turn back into California. The logistics problem is that these places are on the other side of the mountains from the rest of California and the only interstate that goes through these northern mountains is Hwy 80, which takes you to Reno before you can realistically turn off to go somewhere else. Otherwise, you have to wind your way through the mountains on twisty little two lane roads, which are actually slower than taking the interstate and then coming back an hour or so into California. I don't know what Caltrans or its predecessors were thinking when they set it up this way, but I guess they figured that the ninety people who live in Vinton didn't have a big enough voting bloc to complain about it. I spent big chunks of my childhood traveling by car because my parents were both in education which means that we had gobs of summer time, but no money. So we drove everywhere, even across the country, to get to see things. This is how I know that it is one full day's drive from the San Francisco Bay Area to the Arizona border, another day across Arizona and New Mexico, one more day across Texas, yet another day to the edge of Florida or an Eastern seaboard state and a fifth day to get where you are going. Unless of course you are headed for a northern Eastern seaboard state, in which case it is one really long day from the Bay Area to Salt Lake City in Utah (there just isn't anywhere good to stop before that), another day to get to Nebraska, another day across Nebraska and Iowa, another day to the Ohio/Pennsylvania border and a fifth day for where you are going. You are welcome to test these times if you wish, but I assure you that after doing it more than ten times, I should be fairly accurate. :-) So having done this much road travel, I have learned rules that many people in California have never had to learn, but which came in handy this past weekend. When you are down to less than half a tank of gas and you are passing an exit with a gas sign, stop and get some. You do not want to run out of gas in the mountains, the desert or pretty much anywhere. Did you know that with a modern fuel injected car, if you run out of gas you can't always just put some in and go? Sometimes you have to take your car to the dealer and have him recharge the fuel injectors or even replace them. Do not ask how I know this, please, :-) Use the bathroom while you are there too, because sometimes the rest stop is closed and in many other states, there are no rest stops on any road other than the interstate. Yes, the bathrooms are often very scary, but men have the advantage over women on the side of the road shrub method of dealing with your business, so learn to cope. Your own supply of toilet seat covers and toilet paper is a very, very good thing. While desperate times may call for desperate measures, a gas station restroom is not a place you want to be desperate. When the sign says Next Gas 78 miles, believe it. Keep in mind that much of the rural outback still has no cell phone service and if you actually do manage to get through to someone, the cost of a tow truck if you don't have a plan is enough to give you a heart attack and then you're going to have to pay the ambulance costs too. There is no exception to the laws about murder for killing someone who keeps asking if you are there yet or who didn't use the bathroom at the last stop and wants to stop now. There really should be some sort of self-defense sanity rule type exception, but there isn't, so no killing. I understand that it is also illegal to tie the offending person to the roof, trunk or hood of the car, but if they live, I think the penalty is lower. The offsetting benefit of these drives, and yes, it really can make up for the total boredom and the thousands of repetitions of the same car songs and the same car games, is the opportunity to see incredible sights. The mountains and trees in the Sierra Valley area are just awe inspiring. You can spend a lot of time just staring out the window, hopefully not while you are driving. And you can stop places and see things that no one flying over the area will ever experience. It is also true, although I will probably get in trouble for saying so, that people in these small town areas are incredibly friendly and welcoming. They are so glad that you took the time to come see them that their hospitality is overwhelming. And that is the best part of all. Next weekend, I will be in Irvine and San Jose, but not Sacramento, Citrus Heights or Hayward.