Scheduling - The Chicken or the Egg - Part 1

One of the major bug a boos of an Eastern Star year is the calendar. As I have mentioned, I have already started putting together a general idea of how mine will look, but currently, I am painting with a broad brush, just getting the overall feel of what I want to do and how. There are a number of different views on how the calendar should be put together and some of them are mutually exclusive. Each seems to have its good points and its bad points, but at the end of the day, you do the best you can and pray for good weather. One of the topics that has been floating around for me is the question of OVs and Receptions. In some years, all of the Official Visits start in January and end around June or July. Then all the Receptions fall in, starting with the Grand Conductress in July, before the legislative booklet comes out and announces her nominee for her, and then all of the appointive officers and the Grand Treasurer, presuming that she or he will only serve one year, which is what has been happening lately, and ending in September with a joint reception for the WGM and WGP. There used to be separate receptions for those two, with his first and hers after, but time, cost, convenience and travel have encouraged the joint reception for our leaders, assuming that by the end of the year, you and your guy are still on good speaking term. :-) I had considered splitting those two back apart, simply because it is nice to have your reception close to family and friends so that those who have done all the work of supporting you can attend with minimal trouble, but the 2013 calendar has conspired against me on that and forced a decision to have a joint reception because there's only on Saturday in September to have it. So Mr. Wizard and I will not have to discuss the pros and cons on that topic, since the calendar has decided it. For people who do all the receptions at the end of the year, the philosophy is that receptions should fall closer to the end of a person's term of service. After all, we are honoring the service they've given rather than the service they are going to do, some say. And it is nice to get the OVs done earlier so that all the Deputies can breathe a little easier. The other advantage here is that the Chapter giving the reception has more time to plan it and put it together. However, another way of doing the OVs and Receptions is to spread both out over more of the calendar. Receptions can start as early as March or April and are spread throughout the year. In this model, the OVs can go later, even into July and August also. But it also means that some people have very early receptions and their Chapters have less time to plan and prepare. The advantage of spreading the receptions out is that the Grand Family doesn't attend two and three receptions each weekend and it is less hardship for all of the Grand Family to attend each one without missing because they don't have to race off to get ready for their own. It also allows more receptions to be placed on Saturday nights, which seems to be the time that gets the most attendees and if you are going to put on a reception, it would seem to be nice to get as many people to attend as possible. And it also allows for a slightly easier travel schedule if your Grand Officers are very spread out because if you have three receptions in a weekend, you have to travel to each one. So I am wrassling with these two different views and trying to decide between them as I look at the basics of charting out a calendar. However, this is the macro view. The problems of the micro view are a topic for next week. This weekend I will be home for New Year's.

One Year or Four

This past weekend we did two Transitionals in the San Joaquin Valley. Transitionals are instruction opportunities put on by the Grand Conductress and Associate Grand Conductress for their officers, and anyone else who is interested, sometimes ladies who are considering becoming line officers/leaders in their Chapter at a later date or someone who wants to learn to do the specific ritual work of those two offices better, and anyone who gets dragged along, usually a husband who will probably be serving with his wife later anyway and knows that driving and schlepping is his calling in life. We start by going through all the different ceremonial bits that are special for Conductresses to do, which look awesome when done correctly and sort of like a demolition derby when done incorrectly. When done correctly, you are amazed at how smoothly, easily and beautifully it all looks. When done really, really wrong, the best you hope for is that no one gets hurt by running into anyone else and nothing that is not supposed to be dropped hits the floor. Since there are so many of these extra bits, and since no one else really needs to practice those bits, they are not usually covered in full and excruciating detail at the more general officer practices and training sessions, so it is important that the two Grand Line Officers in those positions try to get that extra training and information out to the sisters serving with them. But because we still have to be at everything else, there is a lot of maneuvering to get time slots set up that dovetail with the rest of the Grand Family's calendar. The bottom line is that the first three months of the first two years of Grand Line Officer-ness are very busy! This year we are doing eleven Transitionals from December to February. I wanted to get them all done as early as possible so that the girls would have lessons in how to do the work before they had to do it too many times this year. Luckily, there are several empty weekends on the Grand Chapter calendar in December and February, so I was able to load in our events. After we do the joint practice, there is some break out time where we each take our own group of girls to do some things specific to that particular year. Associate Conductresses, for example, are in charge of the ballot box, and that piece of work can take a lot of practice to do well. Conductresses open and close the Bible, so we practice doing that gracefully and reverently. And hopefully there is a little time to talk about what is going on for the rest of the year, special events and such. All in and all done, we go for about three and a half hours, about two hours of joint session, a fifteen minute break, and then about an hour of separate activities. Doing two of these in one day, was quite the challenge. Luckily, I was fortified with coffee, juice and muffins at the first one and a fabulous baked potato and salad bar before the second one, all put together by my girls. They did a great job! My understanding was that these came to be called Transitionals because the girls were transitioning from being an appointed floor officer into an elected leadership position in their Chapter and the AGC and I, as their Grand Line officers, are given this opportunity to help them make that transition, form local groups to support them in their endeavors and as a time to spend with their big/little sisters as they move up the line. But one thing that has changed over the past two decades or so is the number of people who tell me that they are not going on through the line, but instead are just helping their Chapter out. Some of these people come to the Transitionals anyway because they want to do a good job for their Chapter in this one office, and I am glad that they do. But I am told that some people don't come because since they are not going on, they have no need to meet me or for me to get to know them. That makes me sad sometimes because whether you are in for one year or four, the work that we are teaching is this year's stuff and if you are going to help, it would be nice to try your best. Now some people tell me that they don't have to come because they've done it several times before and so they already know the work, but just to let every one in on a big secret - The Work Has Changed Over The Years! Shocking, isn't it? Yes, the work has actually changed over the years and there are some things where, if you learned them years ago and did them that way, they are no longer the correct way. So it would be nice if everyone serving their Chapter in one of these roles would come, but as they say, we can fill the trough, but we can't make you come take a drink. The ones I feel for the most however, are the ones who want to come and can't. Whether it is because of their work or family schedule or other commitments, it is sad when someone really wants to participate and cannot attend. It is too bad that we cannot videotape one of our Transitionals and make the tape available for people who couldn't come to check out. Oh well, some times you win, sometimes you lose. We are off the next two weekends for Christmas and for New Year's.

Silver Lining

This past weekend I had a lovely opportunity to turn lemons into lemonade, to find the silver lining inside the rain cloud and to make the best of a bad situation. On Saturday, I had a call from a lady who told me that the Conductress of her Chapter had not gotten the sheet of Transitional dates in her packet that went out last Monday and she was wondering if we had cancelled the Transitional. After taking several deep breaths and trying not to freak out at how a missing piece of paper had turned into a cancelled event, I explained that no, we had not cancelled, that all the Transitionals were still on and that they were still all in the same places and at the same times. Having handled the immediate problem, I then started to consider the bigger picture. Of the 181 Chapters in California, I had had to mail packets by regular mail to Conductresses for 74 of them. I knew that all the ones on e-mail had gotten the Transitional schedule, so the total possible pool of missing people was 74. I knew that some of them had picked up the schedule at the State Dinner at Grand Chapter, some of them had gotten it sent to them by their Association President and some of them had already told me that they were just helping out for the one year and not going on. Eliminating all of those left me with about 60 to 65 who might or might not have gotten the schedule. So, not knowing which ones did and which ones did not get the list, there were two options. I could type or write out 65 envelopes and send out another mailing right now, which might or might not get to them on time, depending on where they were, or I could pick up the phone and call all these Sisters and make sure they had their local information. Mailing would have taken me about two hours, calling about four, but with calling, I might have more certainty. I suppose I could have done nothing, but the thought of 65 people who might miss because of a mailing was unacceptable. Still, calling 65 people is a pretty daunting task. The next choice facing me was how to do it. My cell phone signal in my house is very poor, but the cell phone has unlimited calling and free long distance. My land line signal is great, but I would get charged ten cents a minute for the calls. I did briefly toy with the idea that I could sit in the jacuzzi and make the calls because the signal outside is very good, but I didn't have a laminated Conductress roster and it is hard to dial when the screen fogs up. So I decided that I would sit in the breakfast nook, which has maximum windows, and make the calls, all 65 of them. And yes, it did take four hours. And yes, I've never had so sore an ear in all my life! My old phone was a flip phone, so it was at least contoured a little bit. These BlackBerries and other BB type phones may be great for e-mail and texting, but holding a flat surface to your face for four hours is misery squared. The worst part was that the signal was only usable on the left side, so I couldn't even switch off from ear to ear. I had to take a break every twenty calls or so to massage life back into my ear. Nevertheless, I got all the calls made and hopefully one more nightmare out of my life, fingers crossed. And I did get some good lemonade and silver lining out of the situation. For lemonade, I got to speak directly with about half of the sisters that I called, leaving messages for the others, and got to find out about them and their Chapters and chat a little, which was nice. For silver lining, I got to move eighteen more people off my snail mail list so that in the spring, when I send stuff out, I am down to only 56 mailings, less than two pages of labels. Hurrah! (I realize that normal people don't get excited about this sort of thing, but if you've been there, you understand completely!) So this morning, I got to add a bunch of people to my e-mail list and take them off the snail mail list, I got to make more notes and comments on my Spread Sheet of All Knowledge About My Girls and I've already started getting some responses back to the questionnaires in my last packet, which makes me very happy. I also learned a couple of interesting things. I learned that some people can set their cell phone not to receive incoming calls. I suppose that is to save minutes. But it is very inconvenient when those people have disconnected their land line and don't provide an e-mail either and my tech friend tells me that phones set that way also do not show the call in their call log, so I guess some people don't want to talk to anybody. I also found out that some people set their voice mail on their cell phone not to allow messages to be left, so I guess that they are relying on their call log to get back to people and I hope they call me back, but we will have to see. Next time, I am checking all the packets twice! Next weekend, I am in Fresno and Manteca.

Afternoon Tea

This past weekend was the Christmas Party at our Senior Living Community in Yorba Linda, commonly referred to as the SLC. In years past, the party had several parts, including an entertainment segment of holiday songs and jokes, a segment with Santa handing out presents for all the residents and a fancy dinner at which the Grand Officers of the current year and the last year were invited to sit with and have dinner with the residents of the SLC. The general membership was also invited to come to the party and join in the fun. All of the pieces of this party were good, but the timing and arrangement were not the best and it could get very crowded. The residents' largest meal of the day is usually lunch and not dinner, and many of them no longer like to stay up late and don't want a big, late meal, so this format was not working to maximize the enjoyment of the residents, which is the whole purpose of the party. Last year, the party pieces were rearranged to start earlier and end earlier, and that did work better. This year, we did a couple of new things, which worked well, but have a couple of spots that can be improved going forward. It was great both last year and this year to try something different and we are definitely heading in the right direction. And luckily, I get to see how next year goes before I have to make a decision on what to do. This year, in addition to doing the Santa presents, the Grand Officers have each been given some residents, three in my case, to whom we delivered presents by making an individual visit to their units. I think they enjoyed that a lot and I enjoyed having the chance to chat with my residents about their families and hobbies. That part was great! I hope we get to do that again, but I wonder if they will change us all around or let us keep with the same residents. The appointive officers in the Grand Family will change, of course, but those of us who are in the Grand Line will be the same people next year. It would be nice to have new people and over time get to know all the residents, but it could also be nice to keep the same people because it would be very hard to tell your last year's people that you need to spend your visiting time with others and not with them and that could be awkward too, so there is definitely something to think about as we move forward. After the visits, we had afternoon tea together. I had a lovely time chatting with a couple of other residents at the tea, but I would have liked to have been seated with my new special friends so that we could continue our chat and so that when the private visits were over, I could have said that I would see them again in a bit at the tea. On the other hand, sitting with different people did give me a chance to meet two more residents and find out about them and their hobbies, so again, this needs some thinking over. The tea was a little tough for me because it was all desserts and some of us who had meetings all morning had not had any lunch. And I had so hoped that there would be cucumber sandwiches. What's a tea without cucumber sandwiches? :-) After the tea, we had the sing along and then the Santa visit and then the residents had presents for the Grand Officers. In honor of the tea, I got a lovely ornament of a tea pot with a little cup with SLC 2010 painted on it. It is in my curio cabinet now and will be a lovely memento of the day. The one part that always gets a little awkward, (maybe more for the people sitting around me than for me, :-) is that I am Jewish and don't sing Christmas carols. I don't mind being in a room where other people are singing them, but I don't sing them. Sometimes people ask me if there are any Hanukkah songs that we could include, but I tell them that this party is for the residents, all of whom so far as I know are Christian, and that they should have the songs they know and love to make their holiday bright. They wouldn't know the Hanukkah songs and those songs would have no meaning for them anyway, so I don't need them and have no plans to include them in my year. What I may do, that was done a few years ago, is a little education piece on the story of Hanukkah and what it is about, because I think that could be fun and interesting. I find learning about other people's holidays fun, even if I don't celebrate those holidays. So I may do that, but we don't have to sing dreidel songs. The only problem I have run into is that other people think that I have to sing the Christmas songs whether I want to or not as part of my duty to entertain the residents. When forced to it, I try to compromise some and sing the winter/snow type songs, like Frosty the Snowman or Let It Snow, but people do not seem to understand that even these are very uncomfortable for me because no matter the lyrics, these are still Christmas songs and to me, singing them implies that I am celebrating that holiday. No one has ever asked me to eat a pork chop for the comfort of others, but I guess people don't see celebrating Christmas in the same light, perhaps because for many people Christmas has become so secular that they have lost track that this is really a religious holiday. In the same vein, I don't mind at all if other people sing these songs while I am there because those who believe in those songs should get their chance to sing them. I respect their religious views and they should have the chance to celebrate in their way. And if they want to eat pork chops, I hope that they enjoy them immensely. :-) We also had our first Transitional this weekend, but I will write about that next Monday. Next weekend we are off duty. :-)

In Need of a Crystal Ball

I am done with Installations for another year. Each one had elements that made it unique and special, but changing into a formal in the bathroom at my office was getting a little old, so I am okay with being done for this year. Now I am in need of a better crystal ball because, unfortunately, I am only getting static on the one I have. I need to reach into the future and see how next year's Grand Chapter session is going to go, but so far, the future is too undecided for my powers of precognition to bring it into focus. There are a lot of changes proposed for this next year's session and I want to adopt the ones that work. But if some of them do not work out, I want to be able to either try the same idea with some fixes and changes, or be able to try a different idea to address the same problem. Usually, I would have another year before worrying about it and I would be able to see how this year's session went before it became an issue. But the Fates are conspiring against me. When we do our contracts with the convention center for the annual session, we have to tell them which rooms and areas we are using and on which days. This coming program uses less spaces and times than in years past because of the different combination of planned events. But since I am not sure how all of that is going to go, I don't want to lose out on the ability to have the same spaces we've used in the past, in case I need them. I was hoping for some time to figure that out, but along comes the convention center and wants us to make some decisions. I am not sure how permanent those decisions may be because again, usually, we have up to a year before the event to let spaces go, but I have not confirmed that in the current situation and I have been told that we have to decide now about three years from now. Hence my need to get that darn crystal ball tuned in a little better. The key element bothering me this week is something called the Masonic Family Honor Session. This is a session where we invite and honor members of other Masonic groups besides our own. It is an open session, meaning that non-members are allowed to attend, and it is usually attended by representatives of the youth groups as well as the other adult Orders that are associated with the Masons, along with the Grand Lodge officers from the Grand Lodge of California. Traditionally, this Honor Session, which is on Saturday afternoon, after the business of the annual session is concluded, but before Grand Installation Saturday night is held in a different building than our big meeting area because the decoration team for the Grand Installation needs the time to set up the regular meeting area with the decorations for the new officers. I am told that even when everyone clears out by noon, the decorations team is hard pressed to get everything done in time for the doors to re-open at 5:30 or 6:00 pm for the Installation to start around 7:00 pm. Now, there are a couple of solutions to this problem. In 2011, there is not going to be a Saturday afternoon session, so the room will be empty anyway. Another way to solve the problem is to cut down on the Installation decorations, and just change the stuff in the East and maybe put up an archway in the West and call it a day. That you could do in a couple of hours and you again wouldn't need another place to hold the honor session to get out of the way of the decorators. But since it is other people, and not the ones being installed, who decide on the decorations, it is hard to get all of those people for several years in a row to agree to cut down on the decorating. Nobody wants to be the only team that didn't put out a full effort so without agreement among several teams to do that for several years in a row, it is not happening. So since cutting down on the decorations doesn't seem all that likely, we are back to the other side of the equation, which is to have, or not to have, this Saturday afternoon session. I hope sincerely that this year's ideas are a smashing success, but since the ether has gone from analog to digital and I don't have a converter box for the crystal ball yet (there's a market in there somewhere I am sure :-) I am uncomfortable "renting the farm, with an option to buy" on that happening. So I think that I need to hang on to a space to hold that afternoon session, at least until we see how this year works out, or until a higher power decides to grace me with advance knowledge in this area. Next weekend, I will be in Yorba Linda and in Riverside.

Ignorance is Bliss?

I've gotten four more Installations down and only three to go as the end of November comes into view. But of course, there's more to do in November than just Installations. I am getting ready for the start of our Transitionals the first weekend in December and I am getting a budget together for the last two years of this journey, the two that I will share with my player to be named later, also known for now as Mr. Wizard. Did you ever have an idea that sounded great when you started out, but once you got into it, you weren't really sure it was such a cool thing? Well I had this silly idea that, in the interests of full disclosure, I would write this two year budget for all the expenses that I and my man would have in our two years together, to give myself an idea of how expensive it was going to get, since the costs seem to go up every year, and so that he, and his wife or escort, could know what to expect. I sort of figured that it is better to get all the big shocks done up front because after that, most people can take anything in stride. But now that I sort of have the whole thing done, the numbers on it look kind of big and I wonder if anyone is going to say yes after seeing this thing. Even after taking off the stipend amounts that are available the last two years and even after splitting the joint costs more onto my side than his side, the numbers are sort of owwie. Maybe it wouldn't be so disturbing if a person went in not knowing and just sort of spent as they went. Then it would only be a shock when it was over and they looked back on how much was spent. The biggest items appear to be travel expenses and, believe it or not, gifts. If I've done my math correctly, then my travel expenses for those last two years are going to come out around $1,400 a month, on average, for twenty-four months. Assuming he drives instead of flying, his total comes in a fair bit lower, but it's still over $1,100 a month and that's just for gas and hotels. No food, no nothing else. Wow! I couldn't believe the total on the gifts either. For the two of us together, counting everything I could think of that we have to pay for, the gift budget for the two years (really almost all of it is in the last year) came to $16,700. AAAHHH!!! After those numbers, my $6,000 budget for clothes for the two years looked almost miniscule. And $1200 for postage, unless I can get more of my girls onto e-mail, practically nothing. After all, when you are drowning in an ocean, who cares if someone pours a tea cup of water on your head. All in and all done, after all the reimbursements and fund raisers I could think of and assuming contributions from our respective Chapters for a joint reception and assuming that I took on the lion's share of the gifts and other shared expenses, the lowest I could get his number per month for twenty-four months was about $1,200. Of course if I ask him by February or March and he starts saving early, he can think of the amount as around $950 per month. Hey, that's a three digit number. No problem, right? So now I wonder. Is ignorance bliss or is full disclosure better? I need someone to say yes after all and the idea of the job alone is enough to scare anyone. On the other hand, if he's the type to get scared off, then he's probably not right for me, since I am definitely more of a roller coaster girl than a merry-go-round type. I'll take the big drops and lows if I get the big highs too. Next weekend I will finish off the last of the Installations in my local area.

Calling for Volunteers

This past weekend I attended two more Installations and in both of them, a common thread got me thinking about one of the hardest parts of leadership in a volunteer organization, which is asking for volunteers to do stuff for you. The problem is a serious multilegged beastie. Here are some of the legs I've noticed. Asking Strangers - For those of us who are shy, talking to strangers or calling them on the phone is bad enough. Asking them for favors is torture squared! But there's no getting around it. Whether you are a local officer, calling people you don't know out of your Chapter's own roster of members or you are at a state level and calling people you don't know who've been recommended to you, you just have to pick up the phone and dial. AAAHH!! At least with members of Eastern Star, you are fairly well assured that even if they don't want to do what you ask them to do, they'll at least say no nicely and not make it any worse on you. But how tough to make lots of calls and get lots of rejection. I have been spared that so far, but then, I've only had to ask a few people so far too. Motivating People - People have different things that motivate them to volunteer to help and that make them feel rewarded for their service. Some people like little gifts, some want public thanks, some want private thanks. Some people don't want or need anything so long as they can have the satisfaction of having a good job to do and doing it well. Figuring out what each person would most appreciate can be tough and if you don't get it right, you can not only end up with someone who feels unappreciated, but someone that you may have "un-motivated" to help next time. So you really need to try to figure this out. Why They Say Yes - Sometimes people agree to do things because it is good for the Order as a whole, sometimes they say yes because they are willing to do a favor for the person who is doing the asking, sometimes they say yes because the job proposed for them will be fun and sometimes people say yes because they see this job as a stepping stone to other things. Do we care why they say yes? Well, sometimes we do. For some jobs, why a person said yes will have a bearing on how well the job will get done and for some jobs, we want more altruistic motives than for others. At the end of the day, if someone is agreeing to mop the floor and take out the trash, I may not care too much why. :-) But if they are agreeing to do a job that confers perceived status or recognition, then I may care why a lot. But when you don't know the person very well, figuring this out can be a real challenge. Anybody want to go fishing in a grain silo for a shirt button? Matching the Person to the Job - Some jobs call for organizational skills and others for creativity. Some jobs need good people skills and some jobs require self-motivators who work well alone. Again, when you don't know the people on a personal level, matching the person to the job can be a tough problem because if you put the right person in the wrong job, nothing good will come of it. These are just a few of the issues that arise when trying to fill out a volunteer roster, whether it is for Chapter dining room chairman for one meeting or a five year appointment to a statewide committee. It sure would be nice if we had a better way of gathering information on who the people are and how they think before we take the leap into asking them to help us out with things. The other wish I would have is for wisdom in how to deal with the people who say, "if you need help, let me know" as you are walking around during a social hour. I am totally grateful for every person who volunteers to help me, but if anyone thinks that I am going to remember that they offered by the time the social hour is over and I have a chance to make a note of the person, they are overestimating my memory. And that is assuming that I can remember their name with which to make the note by the time I get back to my note book. I suppose I could write their name and offer on my hand, but I wouldn't want to get ink on anyone else. And people look at you weird when you write on other parts of your body. :-) Next weekend, I have more Installations to attend in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Tis the Season To Install

Here we are back in November and a month of Installation Ceremonies stretches out before me. With 183 Installations in twenty-nine days (no one installs on Thanksgiving so far as I know), there is obviously no way to attend even a fraction of them, especially not when your teleporter is on the fritz and no one seems to carry parts for it. Even if you don't work and could travel every day and go to two installations every weekend day, that would only be thirty-eight you could get to as a possible maximum, and even if you went to different ones each of your four years as a Grand Line officer, another impossible task, but if we're going to dream, let's dream BIG, you still couldn't get to them all. And of course the problem was even more impossible back when there were over 200 Chapters or more. So this year, an interesting philosophical question has been posed - If you can't get to all of them, should you go to any but your own Chapter? And if you do go to more, how do you decide which ones? One side says that the is the only way to be fair is to go to none but your own, because that way, everyone is treated equally. Other people say that you should accept invitations in the order in which you receive them, because that is what you do with all other social activities in life. Still other people say that you should go to all the ones in your Association or general area, because those are the people who support you in your service as a Grand Officer, but not travel outside of your area because of the fairness issue. And then others say that you should go to all the Chapters in your district and also the ones where someone you know or served with is going in as either the head of the Chapter or as one of your own subordinate officers.

Before this question arose, I started doing what I have done every year, which is to accept invitations in the order received if I could reasonably get to the Installation. So far, I've accepted about eleven, but more invitiations are coming in all the time. I've also found out that I am not acting quite normal because I send an RSVP to every invitation, either yes or no, but other people evidently only send a yes and ignore the invite if it is a no because I've had several people surprised to hear from me with a no. Go figure? And my pet peeve for the season are the invitations that don't give any RSVP information at all, nothing, nada, zip, zilch, zero! I know that people are really bad sometimes about the RSVPs, but please don't make us work at it. :-)

I am going to have to think about the idea of how many installations to do as I go into the next two years. But for now, next weekend, I am heading south on Saturday for installing down there and then coming back Sunday morning for my own Chapter. WHEW!

Schoolhouse Rock

Another year comes around and another Deputy Grand Matron school for the Grand Officers to help teach the new Deputy Grand Matrons how to perform the ceremonies of our Order so that they in turn can instruct the individual Chapters in their Districts. Each year, the main school is traditionally held near the home Chapter of the Worthy Grand Matron, so this year, we were in Hayward. The school this year was a little different because a fair number of the Deputies are repeaters, meaning that they have served as deputy before. That makes it different because on the one hand, the repeaters can ask questions at a greater level of detail, having learned all the basics before, but it can also be a challenge because some things have changed and it is tough to learn a new way when you have an old way stuck in your head. I had that problem last year because when I was first Associate Conductress in my Chapter, I learned a lecture that has since been completely re-written and it is tough to get the old one out of your head in favor of the new one. I had that same toughness in a couple of spots this year although luckily I had all of last year watching my Big Sister to try to fix those. For example, when I was first a Conductress in my Chapter in the early nineties, I could have sworn that we turned at a different point on the floor to go in to open the Bible, one of the duties that the Conductress performs most often, but now we turn at an earlier point and it is hard to get that stuck in your head unless you just do it over and over. Some other little bits have changed also and for each one, you have to toss out the old and in with the new, assuming you remember which is which of course. I really enjoyed the school not only because I love to teach, but it also gave me a bit more practice before I have to go out on the road and teach all this stuff to my girls, so that I can have it all correct in my head because if you teach it wrong, it gets done wrong FOREVER! One thing that made this particularly interesting is that in Hayward, the first floor of the lodge building is rented out to a church on Sunday. As we discovered at Grand Officer School, and as we were reminded this weekend, this particular church is not quiet. In fact, we could have danced to the music on the second floor, where we were practicing, without any trouble whatsoever. I've never wanted to go to church before, being Jewish, but I must admit that I was curious to see what on earth was going on down there that had to be so LOUD. Unfortunately, the church got out around an hour or so before we were done, so they had cleared out by the time we went downstairs. So I guess I will have to check it out another time. I thought I had mostly recovered from Grand Chapter, but spending Friday on my feet again in flats taught me that I was overly optimistic. So Saturday was tennis shoe day since I knew that there would also be walking to do on Sunday. On Sunday, because it was Halloween, the Grand Officers came in to start the day and then we went out on "break" while some other stuff was discussed with the Deputies, and then we came back into the room in costumes. I am sure that there will be opportunities for people to see our costumes because as soon as we walked in, the cameras started going off. There were lots of individual pictures taken and then some people insisted on group pictures too. I wore my Dorothy costume, complete with silver shoes, (I am a book Dorothy, not a movie Dorothy, I'll have you know), and pigtails tied with gingham ribbons. Someone told me that I looked young enough to card with my hair parted in the middle and put into pigtails and I know that it is true because when I was in my thirties, I wore my hair that way and got carded. That may be why I now part my hair on one side. I know I look young enough to be Dorothy in the costume, but I also knew that the Eastern Star paparazzi were likely to get us, so Dorothy was a better choice than the only other costume I own, which is a short, black satin saloon girl costume with red, ruffled petticoats and a hairband with a feather sticking up out of it. Sometimes people ask me why I don't wear my medieval clothing for a Halloween costume and I tell them that I don't think of those clothes as a costume. They're my clothes for SCA events and medieval parties, just like my formals are for Eastern Star events and formal occasions, although I admit that I own a few that could be turned into costumes. :-) Now that it is November, we are into Installation season. I will be doing installations all over the state each weekend this month. I only go to ones where I am invited and I try to always RSVP any invitation I get, but it helps when there is a proposed RSVP contact on the invite. I will pick up on more group travel with the Grand Family the first weekend in December.

Guide Us With The Light Of Love - To Somewhere I Can Sit Down

This past week was our annual statewide meeting for the Grand Chapter of California. The session was called Guide Us With The Light of Love, and what I wanted most in the world was to be guided to a nice chair where I could sit and put my feet up. I've been to a lot of sessions, but I am not sure I have ever gotten this much exercise, even when I was going to the fitness center every day. I headed down on Tuesday for a lovely dinner and small, traditional party and that was the last night that I got to sleep on the same day as when I awoke. On Wednesday, we had practices. That was a really good thing because we were performing ceremonies and formations that were new and special for the session, but I made a tactical error. In an effort to match my outfit, I wore dress flats instead of my nice walking sneakers. Note to self - next year, wear the sneakers for the practice day, no matter what you are wearing. The problem is that we practiced from about 8:30 am until about 5:00 pm with little if any time off, except the lunch hour, because the Conductresses do A LOT of walking, and the floor of the convention center is concrete. So concrete floor plus walking all day plus no arch support equals swollen feet by the end of Wednesday and that was only the practice day. After practice, we went to dinner and that meant I got to change from the flats to heels for my cocktail dress, but visiting with the members involved being on my feet some more until the dinner and entertainment started. Then we were back in the arena for some more practice and then we had a meeting that went to 11:00 pm and then I had to sort out tote bags and such for the next morning. Now it is not really the late nights that kill me. It is the early mornings that wring me out. Thursday morning was picture time, so we had to be dressed and ready to go by 7:45 am, which meant getting up at 6:30 am. It must be an offense against Heaven and Earth to get up earlier on the weekend for your avocation than you get up during the week to go to work. And the sentence for this offense is serious exhaustion. After all, you can do the math - go to sleep at 12:30 am, get up at 6:30 am. . . So we get up for pictures and take those and then we go back down to the arena to be with the members until it is time to walk in. Then we do some walking and then finally, we do some sitting. Then we go have lunch, then we do more walking, then we do more sitting. But some of the sitting ran late, so Thursday dinner was diet soda and cheese crackers before we went back down for Informal Opening. This is where the Conductresses, (that's me and my big sister), get to wear a race track in the floor by going to one end of the arena, picking up people and asking them to follow me, walking them up the middle of the long side to the other end of the arena, dropping them off and then going back down the outside of the chairs to the other end of the arena to get more people and then turning around and walking them up the middle, east, west, east, west, back and forth and back and forth. I haven't run laps like that in years. Finally we ran out of people so we got to sit for a bit. Then it was over and I went back to my room to check e-mail and catch up on everything and make sure my office had not burnt to the ground (the only condition under which I asked them to call me - well, okay, if a tornado hit it they could call me for that too. :-) And then I went to find some place that was still open where I could get some dinner. I now know where to find the Denny's in Visalia and I also know that the IHOP is only 24 hour on Friday and Saturday. So that finished two days of concrete foot pounding. But wait, there's more. On Friday, I had a breakfast to attend, so that meant getting up at 5:45 am to be at breakfast by 7:00 am so we could be done by 8:00 am to go back into the morning session. Day Three on the desert island that was my little platform on which I sat - food, session, walking, food, session, walking, food, session. . . you get the picture. The last session of Friday ended about 10:00 pm and I headed upstairs completely exhausted, but didn't actually get to go to sleep until about 12:30 pm again. I ate terribly at the meals, including desserts and rolls with butter, which are just about the worst for my diet. I was convinced that I would come home having gained two or three pounds over the five days, but I guess all that walking was good for something, because I weighed exactly the same when I got on the scale this morning - go figure. Anyway, on Saturday morning, for the first time in three years, I didn't have a breakfast - woo hoo! So I got to sleep all the way to 7:00 am, the latest since Tuesday, and by this point, I no longer had feet, just big swollen lumps where my feet used to be. My knees were also reminding me that they hated me and while it was very likely that I would live, it was no longer my first choice. Saturday morning was not too bad, at least not until we danced the stroll for the recessional, but the afternoon was a killer because we were back on the race track, going up and back and up and back until we ran out of people. By then, all I wanted was to sit down and never get up again. But then it was time to change clothes for pictures and then take the pictures and then change back for opening and then walk in and then change again for installation and then walk in and around again and then stand in a receiving line for an hour and then go to the first party and then go to the second party and then it was so far past midnight that there was no point in pretending it was still Saturday. Unfortunately, I learned that I had hit the wall in a really bad way. I was in such pain and so far beyond exhausted that the very innocent last straw produced a really bad and disproportionate result. My escort asked me about this coming week and when she should pick me up this coming Thursday, and at any other time, I would have calmly explained that I was too busy just surviving this week and had not considered next week at all and didn't have my calendar with me so I couldn't pin down a time right now, but if they called or e-mailed me, I would be happy to figure that out. That is what I should have done. But I was so beyond reality, that I opened my mouth and said a BAD WORD. Like watching a train wreck, I heard it come out and realized that I had reached the point where I was no longer able to be social, so I apologized to the person who asked the question, who luckily knows me pretty well, so she knew I was just tired and in pain and said she'd e-mail me this week and I told everyone I had to go and a couple of people suggested that I stay, but I had to tell them that I have hit the wall and was incapable of being awake another minute. That part was BLAH! I went back to my room and slept in, but I was too tired to recover on one night's rest. Then we had to pack up to go home. Now my escort and I had been unable to coordinate cars, so he had driven down also and we had two cars to take home. I thought that it was a bad thing that we couldn't drive together, but one of my Past Grand friends whose done this before told me that in the future we would bring two cars on purpose, just to get all our stuff home and it took me three hours from when we got home to get the cars unloaded and everything put away. I was going to write my thank you notes, but I was still only firing on one cylinder, so I will have to do those tonight. I have never been so exhausted by a Grand Chapter session before, but then I've never been on the floor doing escort at Grand Chapter before either. I've got to try to train up for next year since I am now Grand Conductress, so will be doing escorting again next October. Next weekend, I am in Hayward for Deputy Grand Matron School.

Second Verse, Same As The First

Well, here we are full circle, back to just before the Grand Chapter session. By this time next week, I will have moved up to the next slot in this journey and will be starting out on another exciting year. I am all packed up and ready to move out in a couple of hours. Packing is what is top of my list today though. You know, I rafted the Colorado River through the Grand Canyon, all the way from Lee's Ferry to Lake Mead, a bit over 300 miles in eight days, and everything I needed fit in a twenty-five pound duffel bag and a five pound day pack. Well, the duffel is in the car, but it is not alone. I had so much stuff to pack, for five days mind you and not eight, and truth be told, I am grateful that I can see out the back window. I've got a formal bag with a session dress, cocktail dress and installation dress. I've got another suit bag with a travel dress and a 15th Century Tudor with all required accoutrements. I've got the duffel with socks, underwear, sleepwear, make up, toiletries, pillows, etc. Then I've got tote bags, lots of tote bags. All I ask is that you don't call me a bag lady, okay, just because I've got: A legislative tote with the stuff I need on the floor of the session, legislative booklet, C&L, Red Book, Instruction Book, etc. A session tote with the stuff for this particular session, carrying piece, meal reservations, stuff for the state dinner, Secret Pal present, etc. A shoe and slip tote, with four pairs of shoes, petticoat and the other required undergarmets for all those dresses. A to do bag, with my IPod and GPS for the drive, snacks, and a book so that I can pretend that there will be a minute at some point to read, hah, hah! A computer bag with my computer and work stuff, since being out for three and a half days in a row means having to check e-mail and such. A hand cart, so that when I get there and there are no hotel carts, I am not having to bring everything up two items at a time. AND can you believe it, an entire flat of water. That at least I do not expect to bring back. WHEW! Now the only question in my mind is, what am I missing? I am leaving behind my two kitties, who have two helpers scheduled to take care of them for the next five days. And my contractor has the house, so I wonder what it will look like when I get home. Eeeek! The new linoleum goes into the laundry room today, but I won't see it until Sunday, so I hope they show up with the right kind. I am sure that I will remember what I am forgetting just as I pull up to the hotel. Wish me luck!

Left (Pause) Left (Pause) Left Right Left

This past weekend was Revelation and Grand Officers' School for the incipient 2011 Grand Family. This blog is my fifty-third entry, marking the first of a new year for me, although technically, next week is the "Entry before Grand Chapter" entry, due to how the calendar has fallen. Revelation is when the Associate Grand Matron and Associate Grand Patron get to reveal who they have chosen to be their ten appointive Grand Officers for the coming year. It is a very exciting time for everyone. The people who have been asked to serve get to come out of the closet and are relieved of the burden of lying to their best friends and loved ones, the current Grand Family get to find out the identity of their Little Sisters and Brothers, which also means finding out how far you are going to have to travel to make the Former Grand Officer Presentation to the next person (closest one - same district; farthest one - across state lines), and the Grand Line Officers get to meet their next Family and look forward to traveling with them for a year. The one thing I wish, more than anything else, in connection with Revelation, is that there was some way to get people to stop asking the question, Are You Going to Be a Grand Officer Next Year? The answer is always NO. Whether the answer is really yes or really no, the answer is always NO. Please do not make your friends lie to you. They are not programmed to respond in this area! Please do not try to figure out when the secret weekend is, when the officers all met each other for the first time, and please do not call your friends houses to see if they are gone that weekend. Please do not hint that you know where they went and please do not tell them that you know that they will be an officer next year. Please do not try to guess the hotel or location at which they are meeting and please do not go there and search the parking lot for cars and license plates that you recognize. [No animals were harmed in the making of this rant.] I realize that everyone loves to be "in the know" but if you love them, leave them alone. And for goodness sake, if you asked and they lied, do not blame them for it. You put them on the spot and gave them no choice, so while the rest of the country may have a quandry, Don't Ask, Don't Tell needs to apply here. We've gotten the Don't Tell down, now we need to work on Don't Ask. We now return you to your regularly scheduled program. So after the Revelation, which was particularly cute this year with a power point presentation and cartoon stick figures (who doesn't love cartoon stick figures :-), we all start in on Grand Officer's School. This is a two and a half day boot camp for the new "kids" to polish their performance of the various ceremonies of the Order, and I do mean boot camp. You don't sit very much, every nuance is checked and re-checked and they feed you enough food for an army. I realize that the 2011 fun emblems of a panda and a snow leopard are traditional zoo animals, but does that really mean that we needed feeding time every two hours or less? Well, maybe so. :-) By tradition, the AGM's Chapter fixes the meals and snacks and the school is held at her Chapter's meeting place or close by. This year, some members from the AGP's Chapter also came up to help, which was really nice to see, especially for me since these same folk fed me in 2007 and 2009, so it was nice to see them. But next time, a few less cookies perhaps. :-) Perfecting your Ritual work can be a really intensive experience, but it is utterly necessary because in just three short weeks, (actually a little less now), we have to be the demonstrators and teachers for the Deputy Grand Matrons, who will watch us like hawks watch mice. Woe betide the Grand Officer who doesn't know which line to walk on or when to step out and on what foot. They are dooooooooooommed, dooooooooommed. So to give us the best possible chances of survival, we drill and drill and drill to get it just right. The school is also a great chance to get to know your soon to be new family. Even though you are totally excited about the process, it is very scary too. For those of us in our third or fourth year of this, we know what to expect. But when it is your first time, you are at the lowest tier of ignorance - You don't know what you don't know, so you don't even know what to ask. At one of the meals, I was sitting with three of the appointives and their escorts and I think we spent most of that time talking about tips and tricks for being on the road, what to expect when the year is over and The Three Things I Most Wish Someone Had Told Me When I Was A First Timer. I wonder if they'll share the info with the others. :-) All in all it was a great weekend and we got a lot done, both in terms of perfecting our Ritual and in starting to get to know one another more fully. Now if I can just remember everyone's name, I will be two thumbs up. :-) Next weekend I am getting ready for Grand Chapter and leave for the session next Tuesday.

The House That Men Built

As I said last week, I had an interesting conversation about a hot topic of contention in various parts of the state, which is the renting of Masonic Halls by Eastern Star Chapters. To provide some background, long ago, in the before time, Masonic Lodges had very steep initiation fees. Most of that money was used to purchase land and construct Masonic Halls all over the country. Here in California, many, if not most, towns have a Masonic Hall, usually located on what was the main street of the town, back in the before time. Some of these locations are still prime real estate, such as the Grand Lodge Building in San Francisco, which sits across the street from Grace Cathedral, and some of these locations have become the older and more tired part of town, especially in those areas that have not revitalized their downtown core over time. Most of these buildings were paid for long ago and are owned free and clear by the Lodge, which administers the building by means of a Temple Board, usually appointed by the Master of the Lodge. The Temple Board is responsible for setting and collecting rents, for the upkeep and maintenance of the property, for obtaining insurance and for doing all those other things that property managers usually do. So here is where recent conflict has arisen. I do not yet have all the facts on what was told to the Temple Boards by the Grand Lodge, so I may be missing some information, but I will try to be accurate on what I have heard. Evidently, some time in the recent past, a directive was passed down that Temple Boards should find out what the fair market rental value (FMRV) of their facilities is and make sure to charge that when they rent out their buildings. Presumably this is to fund ongoing maintenance and expenses, since most of the buildings are paid for. But there seems to be some disagreement whether a discount may be offered for groups that are part of the Masonic Family, as opposed to the rate charged to the public at large. Some people tell me that no discount is supposed to be given, regardless of any affiliation. Some people tell me that a discount from FMRV is allowed for youth groups but not for adult groups. And some people tell me that all Masonic Family groups, including yours truly's Order, should be allowed a discounted rate over that charged to the general public. So there is some confusion on what is and what is not allowed. A lot of Chapters are being told that their rent is going up. Of course in these economic times, any increase in expenses is going to be viewed with concern and dismay. But some Chapters seem to feel that they are not getting information on why the rent is going up. Most people can handle the fact that there are needs and expenses in connection with owning property, but it is frustrating to be told that you have to pay more without any understanding of the situation. The end result of the whole thing seems to be that there is a need for some better communication between the two groups on what is going on. Perhaps some of the Lodges with these issues could let the Chapter choose a representative to come to their Temple Board meetings, not just the Worthy Matron who may be too busy to attend, but any one member chosen by the Chapter, just so someone hears the discussion of how the rent is set and how the money is used and needed. And maybe the sacrifices made by the wives of all those men who paid in all those dues to build those buildings, many of whom are members of the Eastern Star, and the funds paid by Eastern Star members to furnish and fixture many of those Halls needs to somehow be acknowledged also. Next weekend I will be in Livermore and Hayward.

A Great Big Room with Trumpets

This past weekend was the Annual Communication of the Grand Lodge of California, their statewide meeting, the counterpart to our Annual Session of Grand Chapter. Unlike our event, which has to move all over because we have to rent somewhere to hold it, the Grand Lodge holds its annual event in its own building, which is located in San Francisco. The lodge room where the official proceedings take place is the great big room, with seats laid out in a BIG U shape on the bottom floor and then a U-shaped balcony tier with even more seats. In the middle of the U is the stage area where they set up all the chairs and such. While much of the weekend session is closed to everyone except Master Masons in good standing, on Sunday is what is called the "public ceremonies" and these are open to others. I've been to these for three years in a row now and it seems to me that what happens on Sunday is that there is a little inspirational message from the Grand Chaplain, then there is a youth group thing where the five youth leaders show up and four of them speak and then they exchange gifts and pleasantries with the Grand Master while we all watch and clap at appropriate moments, then there is a little report on how the Grand Master's project went, then he gives a farewell speech, then they all go out and we take a break and then the install the new officers for the coming year. After the new officers are installed, the new Grand Master gives a speech about his plans and tells everyone what he has chosen for a project and then the guy who just finished his year gets a lot of presents and then the new Grand Master gets a lot of presents while we watch him try to get the stuff open, (all these guys in the room and not one of them can lend the Grand Master a pocket knife, what's up with that?), and then the new officers march out and we all wait in a honking long line to congratulate the new top four guys and then we wander outside starving because we started at 9:30 am and now its after 1:30 and that twenty minute break was great for stretching your legs and using the bathroom, but not long enough to eat anything and I fear by an Eastern Star standard, the reception refreshments are just not up to snuff. Of course it may not be fair to compare their cookies and punch to what gets put out at an event sponsored by the Order of the Eating Siblings. :-) The ceremonial stuff is quite beautiful and moving. They've got three trumpet guys who do fanfares and marches and stuff in addition to the Organist and assistant Organist, so the musical pieces are great. The regalia pieces are all nice and pretty and shiny so that is all nice too. And the ceremony itself is nice and short, even if the whole day is not. Someone made a comment to me that it was not fair that the Grand Lodge guys complained about our four and a half hour installation, but we were in their room for just as long. I admit that I didn't agree with that analysis because their installation didn't start until 11:00 am and it says the time in the program so if you are only coming for installation, you don't have to be there until 11:00 am. We came voluntarily to the youth session and there was a break, so I don't know that the total time from when we got there is a fair complaint. But what is a very fair complaint is that we spent forty minutes watching a grown man struggle to open packages and then we all were supposed to oooohh and aaaahh over the contents for an entire forty minutes. That sort of thing is fun when we were all nine because then, once the presents were open, we could all play with them. For adults it is less amusing. And when you've been sitting for hours, it is way less amusing. I confess that personally, I lean towards having a presentation table and letting people put their gifts there having the receiving line afterwards so those wanting to offer congratulations had their chance to do that also. But even if you want to give some presents, could you limit it to one or two or even three meaningful ones? Or if you must let them all go, couldn't you have a "present caddy" which is someone who opens the next present while the Grand Master is showing the current present to the crowd? That at least would save the opening time. So while there is no doubt in my mind that we need to streamline A LOT, like down to two hours max, there may be a few panes of glass that the stones are striking about Grand Installations. The other thing that struck me, which was a combination of a conversation I had on Friday night at a dinner and being in the BIG room all morning on Sunday, is about the hall ownerships and rents and temple boards. But that will have to be a topic for next Monday. This weekend I am home and will need to start getting ready for Grand Chapter.

de facto and de jure

One of the things that makes the study of law so interesting is that you spend years learning all these cool Latin phrases and then you spend the first ten years of your law practice remembering how to speak in plain English. Some people never figure that out. But two phrases that sort of came to the forefront for me this weekend were de facto and de jure. De facto is defined as a past action or state of affairs that is not actually legal or legitimate, but which must be accepted for all practical purposes because that's just the way it is. De jure means a condition that is in total compliance with all requirements of law. For people who do not study law or Latin, you most often heard these phrases during the discussions of school segregation, where the courts made a distinction between de jure segregation, which was an actual law saying that the school had to be segregated, and de facto segregation, where there was no law, but just based on where people lived and the drawing of the school districts, the schools just sort of ended up mostly segregated. The application of this principle that hit me this weekend was a really, really tough question - When you find a situation that is not in accordance with the rules/laws, but which nevertheless has been going on for a long time, (therefore the de facto situation), when do you change what you are doing to match the law and when do you change the law to match the situation? What do you do when you can't change the law but people will hate you for changing the situation? As I was home this weekend, I started working on a couple of projects. One of them was my list of committees and appointments. To help me organize my thoughts on appointments and people who have volunteered and what I want from each committee, I made a list of all the positions for which I have to appoint people. This includes finding my guy, my most immediate task for next January and February, then finding some co-chairs for some committees, which have to be appointed a year from now, then finding my ten appointive Grand Officers, then finding my Deputies, which I estimate will be forty, then finding Grand Representatives (35), members for standing committees (100+), special committes (40+) and Grand Chapter Week committees (110+). I made the general list a long time ago, just to get a feel for the job, but this weekend, I got more specific and added to my list the length of term for each job, so when I ask people, I can tell them how long until they are "paroled" out of the job, and how many people that other people appointed will still be on the committee and so will need my expectations letters even though I am not the one asking them to serve, and how many people need to be asked early and how many people I need to get from people behind me for them to appoint early. Well, in making my list and checking it twice, I had to do a fair bit of reading in my Constitution and there I discovered that a lot of the people that we are appointing are really special committees and not actually required ones, and that some of the required ones are not being done in the way the book says. Now in some of these instances, what is being done is working fine but it is not what is written down, and in some instances, what is written down would work better but is not being done. So which way do you lean? Do you make the de facto the de jure by trying to change the rules or do you change the de facto to match the de jure? Of course, if people like me didn't read the darn books, we wouldn't have these problems, right? If we would just stick to what "everyone" knows, these problems wouldn't come up in the first place, right? In some instances, we've been doing the de facto for so long, no one can remember it any other way and if you told them that it is illegal, they would simply refuse to believe you. After all, everyone knows the world is flat, right? And the earth is the center of the universe, right? And if we don't dance in the evergreen groves on the winter solstice, the sun will never come back and we will all die, right? And illnesses are caused by evils spirits so if you need to let the bad spirits out, you drill holes in the person's head, right? And look what happened to the guys who challenged these notions - nothing good, that's for sure! So what is a person to do? It is especially a sticky wicket when you don't even have the choice on which way to conform. If you have the choice, then you can put out a proposed rules change and if people vote to change the rules to match the de facto, then you are home free and if they vote no on the change, then you know that you need to change the de facto to match the current law (the de jure). But when you have no right to change the law, you are stuck enforcing it even if people hate it and all you can do to help yourself is to try to explain the problem. We had this arise some years ago over what I call the bingo/bunco problem. In a rule that we have no power to change, Chapters can have bingo games as long as it is not gambling and we follow very strict rules to make sure it is not gambling. We cannot sell extra cards for example, and prizes have to be donated and a bunch of other rules. But Chapters are not allowed to have Bunco nights. We didn't make this rule up and we do not have the power to change it, but people didn't like hearing this and made quite the fuss. Well, my other project of the weekend, which involved starting to slot up my calendar so I can give some dates to people who want to start planning Chapter Anniversaries that fall during what I hope will be my year, led me to go over some stuff that I believe means that some really big "always done" items are very de facto and very not de jure. And to make things worse, these things are things that we cannot change, so I either have to tell people to change what they do or stick my head in the sand and pretend not to see what is going on around me constantly, a skill that I am not very good at, I confess. I tend to be a little more on the side of the rules, I fear. At least I have a year or more to think about it and by then I will have a man who can tell me how he feels about the placement of his head too, in the sand or in the noose. At least burning at the stake for heresy is no longer on the list of potential punishments. :-) Next weekend I am in San Francisco for the Grand Lodge's annual event.

An Intimate Dinner for 200

This past weekend was the joint reception for the Worthy Grand Matron and Worthy Grand Patron. Years ago, each of these officers would have their own, separate reception in their respective areas of the state, but ten or so years ago, many of the couples decided to have a joint reception to save time and travel. It is a reflection of changes in our Order that can be seen as a progression if you know the history of the thing. In the long ago before time, it was often the case that the Worthy Matron of a Chapter and the Worthy Patron of a Chapter were both married, but not to each other. :-) In many areas of the state, it was considered better if married couples did not serve together because that way you had four people to share the work and the expense. The two non-officer spouses would help out in lots of different ways and the four people would often become close friends from their shared projects. Of course, sometimes the two couples would never want to speak to each other when the year was over, but that is a story for another time. Your mileage may vary. Anyway, since husbands and wives often did not go through together, when you had a reception for the Worthy Grand Patron and the Worthy Patrons of California, the Worthy Patrons and their wives would go to that one and when you had a reception for the Worthy Grand Matron and the Worthy Matrons of California, the Worthy Matrons and their husbands would go to that one and never the twain need meet. But some time back, a lot of Chapters had less men and wives would often ask their husbands to serve with them, so if you had two receptions, the same couple would have to go to two receptions. Of course, since we have a fair number of single women and widows, there is always the fun of having a Conductress call you up and ask to borrow your husband to go through the line with her. I have to say borrow because renting might not be legal in this state. :-) The other advantage of sharing the reception of course is that in theory, you can share the cost and the work. However, oftentimes, one Chapter takes the lead and the brunt of the cost and the work and the other contributes more or less, depending on how involved the organizers make them. As with all things, sometimes the Chapters work together awesomely and sometimes perhaps not perfectly. The only down sides of the joint reception that I see are that they tend to be in Fresno and unless you are from Fresno, that means that all the local people that helped the WGM and the WGP through the years have to travel a fair way to attend and the other down side is that when you have speakers who are connected to each of the honorees, the reception can go three or I have even seen four and a half hours. Since I start fidgeting around two hours, get to shooting pains around three and can't stand up after four, this is not so good. But since I am told that it is often better for the members to have the joint reception, that new tradition is probably going to stick for a while. But what is really interesting is that the night before the reception, on Friday night, there has traditionally been a small dinner party. Well, small if your definition of small includes up to 200 people. This dinner party, which no one really hears about unless you've ever been invited to one, is for the Grand Officers and their Escorts and the Grand Pages and their Escorts and the Deputy Grand Matrons and their Escorts. So if you have eighteen Grand Officers, that is up to thirty-six people, anywhere from twenty-one to fifty Grand Pages with their escorts is another possible forty-two to one hundred and forty-eight deputies and their escorts is another possible ninety-six. So up to 200 or so, although this year may only have been about 100-150. The variation on the number of Pages depends on how many the WGM and WGP each choose, since their numbers are unlimited. At this dinner party, there are a host of traditional presentations made. The Grand Officers who didn't have receptions this year, which traditionally is the Associate Grand Matron, Associate Grand Patron and the Associate Grand Conductress every year, and the Grand Secretary every year except her last one, during which she usually does have a reception, so there are four officers in this group, receive love gifts from the North and South Deputy Grand Matrons, since all the other officers usually get these love gifts at their receptions. The Deputies as a whole group traditionally buy a briefcase or carryon bag for the Grand Marshal. I love mine, which has that awesome pocket for your laptop so you don't have to take it out of the bag at the airport, just unfold the flap, go through the screening machine and pop the flap back up and you are on your way! Now if we can just figure out how to keep our shoes on. . . And the Deputies usually have something, like a scrapbook or memory book of some kind for the WGM and WGP with a page from the official visit to each District. That is nice to have as the years go by. So we did all that last Friday, and then had the day free on Saturday until the joint reception Saturday night. Except for the fact that all such events go longer than I can sit, it was a very nich occasion. The music was completely awesome, provided by one of our most dedicated Sisters, who volunteers her time and amazing talent constantly. If only we had a Grand Chapter Service Award for members who just give and give and give at the state level, like we do for Chapter service, she would be on my nominee list for sure. And it was also very lovely that a good number of the Worthy Matrons and Worthy Patrons were able to attend. That always makes it more special for the Grand Officer. This next weekend I will be home.

Flying Lessons - Year One

This past weekend was my first workshop for my girls. The theme was Flying Lessons - Year One. I am still amazed at how awesome it all came out. My Chapter and my service group really went above and beyond all reasonable expectations to do a phenomenal job. The workshop was single tracked, since this was the first one so we were not worried about people needing a choice because they'd already seen some stuff. Next year, we want to multi-track, both because we have less than half the time and because we want to offer some of the same stuff for people who didn't have a chance this year and because we want to offer some new stuff too. We opened with a welcome, a run through the agenda and then introductions for the participants. In the introductions, in addition to the regular stuff like name, home chapter, etc., we asked the attendees to tell us about the health of their Chapters and then some personal stuff, like what they did for a living, what they do for fun when they are not doing Star and something about themselves that others don't usually know but would find interesting. Of course, there were a couple of people whose only answers to the question on something else they do for fun was "There's other things people do?" I sure know that feeling right now myself. :-) We had four seminar slots and taught about communications, listening skills, event planning and how to find answers in our governing documents. I had presenters for the four seminars so I could run around putting out little logistics fires before anyone knew there was a snag and because my presenters are awesome at presenting this stuff! I could probably have done one of the bits, but I don't know how people manage to keep everything smooth when they do the presenting too. It seemed like every hour there was one more little teeny tiny thing that just needed a moment of my time and yet one more trip up and down the stairs. Why is it that the person you need to speak with is always on the other floor from where you are at the time? Is it like a butter side down thing or what? If it is karmic, then boy have I lifted my burden, unfortunately at the expense of my calves. Thank goodness that Monday was in the hotel, so it was all on one floor. Whew! I cannot wait for the contractor to finish the remodeling work on my jacuzzi! Between the seminars, we had breaks and meals with table topics. These were the idea of someone special to me back in 2007, but they haven't been done since that I know of and I really liked the idea, so we did four sessions of table topics. Table topics are where you hand out at the table, over lunch or dinner or a snack or something, a set of questions on a particular, relevant topic of interest and ask the table to discuss the questions and brainstorm about answers. The attendees told me that they loved the table topics for two reasons. First, it gave a table full of complete strangers a common conversation to which everyone was expected to contribute, so everyone got to talk comfortably even though they didn't know the people with whom they were sitting all that well. Second, it gave them a chance to talk about the issues and give me their ideas and impressions of current situations in our Order. They said that they really enjoyed that opportunity for them, as members, to tell me as a leader person, where they were coming from on the topics. We had two or three questions on each sheet and the right side of the room and the left side of the room had different ones, but all on the same topic. The table topics were Statewide Communications, should we have them, what purposes do they serve, what format/method of delivery did they like, how we should pay for such things, and so on. We had one talk about dress codes and whether we should conform across the state and what their Chapters were doing. Another topic was dealing with change and how their Chapters react to change and if they had new activities and if so, how those got started. And we ended with our Sunday dinner topic, Ritual Instruction and Men, discussing how people liked to get their ritual instruction, whether they felt Grand Officers needed to be involved in it and at what level, what the role of the Worthy Patron should be in ritual instruction and whether the Chapters were ready for men as Deputies, although we'd probably have to change the name from Deputy Grand Matron to perhaps District Deputy. :-) Each table reported back on their discussion at the end of each reporting period and there was a lot of consensus in the room on a lot of the issues. I was expecting a bit more disagreement, since I had people from just about everywhere except Los Angeles. There were two ladies from San Diego and one from San Fernando Valley, but no Greater LA people. And there were people from fairly far north too. I was also expecting more disagreement because I had completely new first timers mixed with people who have done it bunches and bunches, a mix of newer members and long time members too, yet they still seemed fairly uniform on where the opinions fell. I don't know for sure that we had a truly representative sample, but it was diverse. For each new table topic and break out group, we rotated who sat with whom. Almost no one got to sit with the person that came with them and few people in the same association got to sit with each other either. And with four rotations mixing up who went where, everyone got to meet almost everyone else, so that was nice too. We gave all the attendees a list of everyone who came to let them keep in touch with one another and I think that people made a lot of new friends. I also hope they got the idea that they are not alone in this. Lots of people have the same concerns and anxieties. Everyone said that they had learned something and went away with a whole to do list of things to study and try when they get back home. And they all promised to read their Ritual book cover to cover before they finish their Conductress year. Maybe there will have to be a quiz. :-) Next weekend I am in Fresno for events on Friday night and Saturday night and a meeting Sunday morning.

The Local Scene

This past weekend, I had to stay home for various reasons, so I had the opportunity to attend a reception hosted by my Chapter for one of our members who is a current Grand Representative. It's sort a funny situation, with a move and a consolidation and an appointment and all sorts of other stuff mixed in. It's a little bit soap opera, but very interesting. Starting with consolidations, which I may not have mentioned before, consolidation is when two or more Chapters, for whatever reasons, decide to join together and be just one Chapter. It's a lot like an arranged marriage and it can work well or poorly depending on the attitude of the people involved and sometimes the reasons for the consolidation, just like a marriage. And some of the same strategies that work for marriages work for consolidations, but there are a lot less counseling services available and there is no divorce so you better make it work. :-) In the case of the Chapter in which I was initiated, we were losing our meeting place because the Board for our Hall decided to sell it to a developer who was willing to pay A LOT of money for the land to build houses. So we decided to consolidate with another Chapter rather than just finding a new place to meet. Once you decide to bite the bullet and take the plunge, there are all sorts of very intricate rules and voting requirements, but the part everyone cares about is that three of your people meet with three of their people and one member of the Grand Chapter Consolidation Committee and settle down on the horse blankets to dicker. Whose name will we keep or will we come up with a new name? Whose Chapter number will we keep? It's usually the lowest one, but not absolutely always. Where will we meet? What night will we meet? How many times a month will we meet? What will our dues be? Who will be our first officers, and so on. Sometimes it is a piece of cake because the answers are already pretty well known. In the case of that first consolidation, most of the answers were sort of known in advance. We were losing our hall, so it was going to be their place. Our number was a lot lower, so we'd hang on to that. Since both our place names were geographic, changing to something more generic made sense. Our dues were pretty close, so we went with the bigger number. Everything got done and there we were. But I would say that the harder part comes after the Consolidation is over. And again, sometimes people settle right in and have no trouble after they work out who gets the right sink and who gets the left sink and I do the dishes and you take out the trash. But every now and then, thankfully not too often I hope, you get people who feel violated. They feel that all of a sudden, their home has been invaded by Those People. They don't think like you. They don't understand Your Traditions. They want to do things Differently Than We've Always Done Them. . . and so on and so forth. One of the ones I detest is "they got more things their way than our way." Come on people, it is not a scoring contest! Maybe we should consider adding some requirement that the Grand Chapter member that helps with the paperwork sticks around for a few meetings and helps get the Chapter thinking as one. I think sometimes that they need the help after the wedding almost more than before it. It is so like a marriage without pre-marital counseling, the comparison is scary. When people get married and move in together, (okay, I know most people nowadays do it the other way around, but work with me here), they each have to toss out their notions of The Right Way and work together to find The Right Way For Us. For some people it is totally easy. For others it seems to be close to impossible. That first consolidation was a little hard and rocky for a couple of years, but we worked it all out and found the way to make the Chapter about all of us. We combined activities and traditions and figured out what worked and what did not. We started out on one meeting night and ended up moving to another, but that was all okay too. That was in 1999. By 2002 when I was Worthy Matron again, I would say that the kinks had worked themselves out and we were tooling along pretty good. We were having fun and everyone knew each other's name. Hurray! Then in 2008, another Chapter came along and wanted to join us. We went through the process again and again decided to jump the broom, but that one was a little tougher to get to work. I think that there were people in that one that didn't want to get married to each other, just like you may love your spouse, but not be totally thrilled with your in-laws. However, it is a package deal, so you accept that now you are all one family and move on. As it happened, we did it again in 2009, but that one seemed to be a cakewalk. That second one in 2008 is the one that brought this Grand Representative into my current Chapter. What makes it really convoluted is that this particular member had moved out of the area about eight years ago and joined a Chapter in the central valley. So he was not local when we consolidated and although a Past Patron of my Chapter several times over (because all the Past Matrons and Past Patrons of all the Chapters in consolidation become PMs and PPs of the consolidated Chapter), I never actually belonged to his Chapter while he was serving in the East. And many of our newer members had never had the privilege of meeting him before, which was their loss because he is a great guy with a slightly twisted sense of humor, but that works for me. So you may wonder how come the reception was at my Hall when he lives in the central valley and belongs to a Chapter there too. Well, when a member is appointed Grand Representative and belongs to two Chapters, one of those Chapters is identified as the Chapter "out of which they are appointed." It can be sort of important, because we have a rule that no one Chapter can have two Grand Representatives. So if you have two people who belong to the same two Chapters, you have to appoint one of them out of one Chapter and the other out of the other Chapter. So, primarily since this member had not yet served as Worthy Patron in his new area, he was appointed out of my Chapter, so the reception was at my Masonic Hall. I am actually glad it worked out that way because it was my pleasure and privilege to be there to honor him. It was a lovely reception with good food of course. The other thing that is interesting about the whole process is that I have been told, and again, your mileage may vary, but I have been told that Grand Officers are not supposed to attend receptions for Grand Representatives or Deputy Grand Matrons unless they are for your own District or a close personal friend, so as not to overshadow the honored member. So this last Saturday was the only day that I attended a local reception and will probably be the only one I make all year. Yet all the Chairmen are told nowadays to send the invitation to all the Grand Officers and Past Grands and not just the local ones and the ones that belong to the same Chapters as the honored members, so I still haven't figured that one out. Next weekend I will be in Los Altos and Milpitas as we put on my very first workshop for my girls. I can't wait!

Jam and Jelly

This past Saturday was the annual Jam and Jelly Day. I have made this event three times now and there are few events with better food. That's saying a lot when you're considering events in the Order of the Eating Siblings. Unfortunately, the old TANSTAAFL rule still applies. (That's There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch, which I learned from Robert Heinlein in The Moon is A Harsh Mistress, one of my favorite books.) Please understand, I love this event, but the logistics sometimes leave just a bit to be desired. As with most OES events, before you get to eat, there are certain preliminaries that must be followed. The usual order (your mileage may vary) is that there is a welcome speech or two, then a prayer and the Pledge of Allegiance and usually the National Anthem is sung and then there is some escort and some introductions. That's all fine, but this event has some interesting tweaks. Let's start with a part that I like. Each Grand Officer, and a few other selected dignitaries, are given a special person to escort them into the hall. When you get to the front of the room, the Grand Officer introduces their special escort person and says a few words about them. You need to make sure that you meet the person ahead of time and get some information so that you have something to say about them other than just "what a very nice person this is" which may be true, but is not much of an introduction. Now in years past you had to know to show up with something to write on so you could ask some questions and take some notes. This year they made a great improvement by giving us an information sheet with some basic stuff already filled in. That is a great time saver because you can then ask about unusual or extra stuff to really liven up your presentation. This year I had the absolutely easiest time of anyone because my special person was a member of my Chapter and she and I had lots of history together so the tough part was choosing what not to say! We had a great time and I hope she gets to be my person next year too because I still have a bunch of great stuff saved up. So now let's go maybe not the best part. Because the Grand Officers and some dignitaries are going to be escorted in and introduced, they are lined up to do this, but they are lined up outside. We couldn't see or hear anything at all. Now I am told that if the speakers were working, we'd be able to hear, but we still couldn't see and here is this person giving a welcome speech and the guests that they are welcoming are all still outside. See the problem? I still had a good time because since we couldn't hear anyway, we amused ourselves by chatting while we waited and I probably had too good a time because a couple of times when we laughed, we got shushed and I am sorry if we disturbed anyone. But if we are the honored guests, how about doing that bit of escort and introductions first so we can see the rest of the program? On the other hand, I did have a lot of fun chatting, so maybe leaving us outside is okay. :-) Another not my favorite part is the number of self-introductions. Okay, I confess. I think the whole escort and introductions thing goes on too long. I can only sit for about two hours before my bottom falls asleep and I would rather be chatting and eating. It is true, mea culpa. But it is particularly frustrating when people are doing self introductions without a mike in a big room. You can hardly hear the introductions anyway and no one is quite sure when it is their turn, so there are pauses while people sort out who is going next. But eventually all of that is over and we can get back to the really fun part. You see at this event, the local Chapters each host a Grand Officer or two. The local Chapter members fix a picnic type meal, often full of home made goodies, and then you sit with that Chapter and eat whatever they brought. They always bring way too much so you have to pace yourself because everything is awesomely tasty and you don't want to run out of room. You can visit and eat and spend the most delightful time with the members. Of course if you are a real gourmand, (or perhaps glutton is a better word :-), then you go around to the other Chapters to say hello to the members and of course, they all offer you tastes of their goodies too, so you don't just get double or even triple desserts, more like four or five. It is also amazing to me how many of the Brothers in our Order cook. I had a pie slice made by one that was scrumptious and at another table, I had a fruit and rum mix inside a fried wonton wrapper with powdered sugar that was to die for also made by a Brother. Wow! Next weekend, I am going to some local receptions. I will not be in San Bernardino nor Buena Park.

A Little Lead Shot in the End of Your Baton

A week ago, I attended the reception for my hopefully soon to be little sister, the current Grand Marshal. There is a current tradition in California Eastern Star, which may or may not change any time soon, based on some current discussions and legislation, but still in effect for now, that the Grand Marshal chosen by the Worthy Grand Matron is the election designee for the office of Associate Grand Conductress. That's how I got where I am now and how almost every, but not quite all, other Grand Line officers got into it also. But lots of things made that job, and this just past reception interesting for me. To understand how this works, you need to understand a little something about the job which the WGM expects the Grand Marshal to perform. The details vary from year to year and WGM to WGM, so your mileage may vary, but the usual essentials are to take charge of coordinating the activities of the Grand Family, particularly the Appointive Grand Officers. This includes putting together a monthly schedule of activities, finding out what is going on at the activities from the chairmen of them, getting hotel room blocks set up so the traveling Grand Officers have somewhere to stay, finding out what the chairmen would like the Grand Officers to wear to the event and then checking and coordinating that with what the WGM would like them to wear to the event, making reservations and arrangements for meals between events as needed, working out details on dress orders and Fiesta booths, getting birthday and anniversary presents for the WGM and WGP and if desired, making arrangements for their quilts and license plates. After you've made all the arrangements, you then have to coordinate things at the events themselves, including seating for the Grand Officers and their escorts, check lists for different set up and introduction things, collecting and distributing presents to the Grand Officers and such other gopher tasks as arise. You also learn to carry around a kit or box with anything you think you may need to help out any Grand Officer at any time. I think my best rescue in 2009 was made possible by my timely possession of a seam ripper and the ability to run in high heels. :-) There are other duties that vary from year to year. I understand that this year's Grand Marshal was responsible for coordinating with the Deputy Grand Matrons also. In my year, the WGM had a chairman of deputies who was in charge of that. But I was in charge of making the WGM's and WGP's hotel reservations and I am told that my big sister did not have to do that. Some years you get other gifts or arrange other celebratory events. It seems to go down the lines with each person sort of setting expectations based on what they did when it was their turn. So basically, if the WGM and the WGP are Mom and Dad to the Grand Family, the Grand Marshal gets to be the older sister who is put in charge of her younger siblings, the Appointive Grand Officers. The analogy works best if you think of the elected officers as the Grand Marshal's older siblings, whom she also helps out enormously, but for whom she is less answerable because we are supposed to know how to do what we are doing and for the most part have been to the events and such before. The Grand Marshal is still an invaluable resource for the elected officers, and it is important to accord her the courtesy of keeping her informed on where we are and when we are coming to what and such because she is supposed to know where all the Grand Officers are at any given time. Besides, each of us ladies has been there and done that and knowing how hard the job is, we wouldn't want to make it any tougher on our little sister than it already is. But herding cats into a room full of rocking chairs is easy compared to keeping track of thirty-four adults, all of whom have cars and ATM cards. The emblem of the Marshal is the baton and it is customary for the WGM and WGP to present their Grand Marshal with a baton of office for them to use and then keep. But there were times when I wish that someone had had the foresight to hollow out the ends of my baton and put a little lead shot in there. A baton with a little more heft and balance sure would have come in handy a time or two. Oh well. Sigh! Because the Grand Marshal does so very much for everyone in her Grand Family, there is something very special about her reception because you have an added sense of happiness and gratitude in seeing her get honored by the members of the Order. You know that she has really earned every kind remark and every bit of applause. I was lucky enough to get to make the gift presentation to the Grand Marshal (every Grand Officer picks another's name out of a hat at the beginning of the year to do this) and tell her how much all of us appreciate everything she has done all year, with another ten weeks or so to come. Of course in return for this year of constant work from the Grand Marshal, there is an expectation that those who chose her and the appointives who served with her will do all sorts of things for her during her journey up the Grand Line, like when I helped with my big sister's Pre-Revealing because I was an appointive officer in her Grand Family of 2008. After you've had a person take care of you for an entire year, you really do enjoy getting to help her out as her years of service go forward. That part is a lot of fun. It was also another juxaposition event for me between my Star world and my SCA world. There were three more SCA people at the Grand Marshal's reception that snagged me to say hello and greet the visiting Royal Peer. :-) I fear that the word has gotten out and has spread through the South. But more than that was the fact that for me, the Grand Marshal's job felt very familiar. In the SCA, when a new royal couple is going to ascend to the throne, they often choose a person to be in charge of those who will serve them as lords and ladies in waiting. This person is usually called the Head of Court or Chief Lady, depending on the region. As it happens, I have served as Head of Court five times, so many of the tasks associated with Grand Marshal were not totally new to me. Hotel room blocks, that was new, since SCA people camp in pavilions and tents, but on the other hand, I didn't have to keep a list of what size tent each person had to lay out the Royal Encampment. Restaurant reservations were also new but I didn't have to find a steward to cook meals for twenty and thirty people at a time, so I think that one was a wash. Keeping track of who was going to be at what events and when was not new. That one is the same for both. Getting presents was not new. I did the gift baskets for most of my royals during their reigns and using gift bags instead of baskets was awesome. Do you have any idea how much room in the car eight full gift baskets can take up? The whole back seat sometimes. Or what sort of a pain it is to transport fifteen dozen roses in buckets half full of water to a camp site so that they can be given out as tokens during a tournament without getting water on every floor surface in your car? It's bad enough getting them into the car and driving to the site, but some sites don't let you drive on the grass, so the last quarter mile can be the real killer. Even with the experience of having done similar things though, the job of Grand Marshal is one of those things that is totally rewarding to do well and absolutely nothing anyone would want to do a second time. This weekend I will be in Union City and Santa Maria.