I Gotta Get Me a Man

With a couple of weeks off the road, I have some time to think about what I need to get done this year and plan out some goals and tasks. (I also got to clean out my closet yesterday - Hurrah! - That's a hundred or so wire hangers doomed to the recyle bin!) One of the most burning tasks for any Associate Grand Conductress is to start making a list of eligible men from the other side of the state that one might consider asking to join in the journey to the East. You are not allowed to ask anyone to actually serve with you until you have been installed as Grand Conductress, but you need to start making a list of possible men so that you can try to meet them and talk with them when you travel to the other part of the state. Because the Grand Line Officers alternate North and South of the state, and the men alternate also, the person in line ahead of you is not looking at your potential pool of people, so there is no actual conflict, but you still don't ask early because that would not be fair to the person ahead of you because they should have their own time that is not intruded upon and you hope for the same courtesy in return from those that follow you. Since everyone knows that I have to find a man, an amazing number of people pay intense attention to who you talk to and who you meet with during your travels in the Grand Conductress and Associate Grand Conductress years. Very much like an arranged marriage, a bunch of different factors go into picking a man, and if he's married, his wife also, who will be a good fit and who you will still like, admire and appreciate after two and a half years of intense work together. Like a marriage, this pick is for LIFE, since even after you are done with your years of service, you have to get together at reunions, receptions for people you picked to serve with you and to be the advisors and helpers for your Grand Marshal as she goes through the Grand Line. try to meet and talk with possible people as you travel in the far part of the state. From what I have seen, nothing can substantially help or hurt your year more than the choice of your partner. So usually, when I have a decision that includes a bunch of different factors, I try to figure out what is important to consider and ask around about what things should go on my factor list. Here's what I have gleaned so far, in no particular order. The Wife - I have been told, that you aren't just "marrying" a man, you are marrying his spouse too. You are about to be a foursome and the other halves of the couple, my escort and his wife, need to get along too because as we are constantly thrown together, they will also be constantly thrown together. Also, you want someone who is going to be supportive and understanding of the amount of time you are going take away from their life together, and someone who is okay with spending the money that it costs to do all this too. In a perfect world, you want him to have a wife who can take on tasks and projects and be another pair of hands. The Money and the Time - While four years (okay, six) are more expensive than two (okay, two and a half), there are still a lot of expenses associated with serving and you want someone who can hold up their half of the costs without endangering their economics and who has the time to travel as much as the WGM and WGP need to. I sort of feel like I should find who I want and let them decide if they can afford the time and money, but it might be unkind to ask someone who you know can't afford to do it, and if you know that time and money will be okay, that is one huge headache off the list. Opposing Strengths and Weaknesses - From what I have seen, the best couples serving together cover each other's strengths and weaknesses well. So I think I want to find someone who is strong in areas where I am weak and whose weaknesses, if any, fall in areas where I am strong. That way, between the two of us, we should be able to handle anything. Of course, that requires getting to know them well enough to know what their strengths and weaknesses are, which can be its own challenge when everyone is watching who you speak with and no one is supposed to know who you pick until they are revealed in July of your Grand Conductress year. You also can't ask too many people about the men you are looking at because that can also start rumors and everyone seems eager to find out who you are going to choose. Travel Stamina and Health - Because of the amount of travel and the stress involved in the job, I am told that you want someone who is going to be able to keep up on the travel schedule and who you hope will stay healthy through your term of service and beyond. Again, this is a tough area to investigate when you have to watch how many long conversations you have with whom at Eastern Star events. Popular in their Area/Deserving in the State - I am told that you want people to be happy for your choice and excited about your man, so it helps if you choose someone who is well known and well liked, especially in their own local area and throughout the state if possible. It is also important, it seems to me, that they some experience or past service that makes them a person that the members in the state feel is deserving of the high honor of serving as Worthy Grand Patron. To pick someone who has never done much for the order would seem to add difficulty on two levels. First, it seems that a lot of people will think that there are more qualified people you could have chosen and they will be disappointed that you are not rewarding someone who has truly contributed to Grand Chapter. Second, if the person you pick has never served in Grand Chapter in any capacity, whether as a Grand Officer, a Grand Escort, a Grand Representative, on major committees for several years, or something like that, you cannot really see how they will perform in the fish bowl that is a Grand Office nor will they have a very complete understanding of what will be expected of them and what they are getting themselves into. The more they know what is coming, the less difficulty there will be when the rubber meets the road, or at least so I am told. What You Want Them to Do - Each Grand Line Lady, it seems to me, has her own idea of the role that she wants her man to play and she needs to pick someone for whom the role she requests is natural. A friend suggested to me that your man should be able to serve the way you want while still being himself and if he can't do that, he's the wrong man. So I guess I need to firm up my picture of what I expect so I can convey it correctly and find the person who will be able to fill that role while being true to himself. I am sure that there are other things I am supposed to consider, and hopefully I will find them out while I put this list together of people to look at in my travels. The toughest part I think is that I can't be seen talking to anyone too much and I can't call my potential choices for discreet discussions by phone until next November, after Grand Installation, so all the research has to be in stealth mode for this next year so as not to offend anyone. I was told that checking the back of the car for bumper stickers and emblems can be very useful in one's research, so I will have to remember to do that too. Next weekend we are off again so that everyone can be with their family for Christmas. My friends want me to come visit and I have to come up with a good way of explaining that all a Grand Officer wants for Christmas is to stay home and sleep!