With a Little Help from My Friends

Installation season is over for another year. Wow! At last tally, I think this was a lighter year than last year. I think I only caught ten installations from November 13 to November 29. More people seemed to be on the same date. I managed all the installations in my district and all the ones for the district just south of me, plus another sprinkling. It was very awesome to get to meet and install some of the ladies who are going to serve with me in 2013. They all seemed very enthusiastic and most of them seem to be going for the first time, so that is exciting too. When it is your first time to get in the line in your Chapter, it is exciting and scary all wrapped into one. You are excited to be taking a big step in your fraternal lift and scared that you don't know what to do and will do it all wrong. Ah yes, I can relate completely right now! But I mentioned last week that I would turn to a somewhat less happy topic, and that is a funeral. One of the duties of a Worthy Matron in a local Chapter is arranging for an Eastern Star funeral for those members of the Chapter where the person has requested or the family requests that one be held. We have our own funeral service, which is very beautiful and meaningful. It takes eight people to put it on, five ladies to act as the Star Point Officers, a lady as Worthy Matron, a man to be Worthy Patron and a Chaplain. Many Chapters delegate this duty to the Past Matrons and Patrons group because many funerals are on weekdays and that group often has the most members who are retired and can do this when needed. But this particular funeral was on Saturday morning and I knew I could go, so I volunteered to take a star point office. It was very interesting on all sorts of levels. Now I have led funeral teams and been in a funeral team many times. The two times I was Worthy Matron I ended up doing about eight funerals in those two years. Sometimes there is a whole other church service and our ceremony is just one bit that fits in somewhere. Sometimes we are it and there is nothing else. So on top layer, one of the nice things about Eastern Star is that we are always there for our members, even at the end of their days and they can be sure of having some nice words for their last good-bye. On another layer, while it is a very sad event, I have always been proud to be able to help pay this last tribute to a departed sister or brother. It is a good deed to help bury the dead and comfort the bereaving and I believe that when the family sees that there are others who also loved and cared for their loved ones, it helps because the grief is shared and others understand. It was also interesting for me because there were a lot of members at the funeral who don't come at any other time and who did not know who I was. I was in a white funeral robe, like the rest of the team, and without any name badge or other insignia. When introductions were made, I just gave my name and everyone knew that I was a member of the deceased's chapter because I was in a robe. It was actually sort of nice to just be another member for a little while. Most people going up the Grand Line who have the experience of serving as an Appointive Grand Officer get a chance to go back to a normal fraternal life for a while before becoming Grand Marshal and committing for five years, but going straight from Grand Warder to Grand Marshal, I did not have a chance at that experience. There was something very special about being at an Eastern Star event where there were no expectations of me other than to do a good job at my lines. That was actually very nice. Another interesting thing about a funeral is that you get to meet some of the friends of your departed Sister who shared some other hobby than Eastern Star. Sometimes I think that we could know each other better if we asked more about their life outside of our Order. As I look around the average Chapter room, I wonder how many people know what the people sitting next to them do for a living or what other hobbies and interests they have. You know about people's family, their kids and their grandkids and their siblings and their last illness and when they are going in for surgery and when their birthday is, etc., because we talk about all that stuff a lot, and we often know each other's Chapter name and Chapter service, but we don't seem to talk about work and play that much. I am sure that I have sat in Chapter with members for years without ever knowing that they used to be a competitive swimmer or chess champion or play the violin. When you speak with people at a funeral, you find out all sorts of things you just never knew. I also think that the family members who are not in Eastern Star get to see a bit of what their loved one found special about us and I am glad that we have that chance to share that with them. I also think that a lot more people come to someone's funeral when they are a member of Eastern Star because the Chapter tries to have some people go every time and I think that is nice for those in mourning. When my father died, his funeral was on a Wednesday. He didn't have an Eastern Star service, but a dozen members of the Chapter took the time on a work day to come to the synagogue for the service and then followed to the graveyard for the burial. It meant a lot to me that they were there because I didn't feel so alone, so when I have a chance to be there for someone else, I think of how I felt and I hope that I am able to give some similar measure of comfort to others. I got a lot of sympathy cards too and those also helped me, so I try to send them out when I knew the deceased or I know a member of the family. It's one of those things where each of us will have our own turn, to comfort and then to be comforted, and that is what I think of Eastern Star as being all about. It gives me a chance to be there for others and I know that when I am the one in need, they will be there for me. We help each other, in good times and in sad times. For me, that is one of the reasons that Eastern Star gives meaning to life. Next weekend, I will be in Chico and Sacramento and Merced and Tulare, so it will be lots of driving and the beginning of our Grand Officer Instructionals.