The Local Scene

This past weekend, I had to stay home for various reasons, so I had the opportunity to attend a reception hosted by my Chapter for one of our members who is a current Grand Representative. It's sort a funny situation, with a move and a consolidation and an appointment and all sorts of other stuff mixed in. It's a little bit soap opera, but very interesting. Starting with consolidations, which I may not have mentioned before, consolidation is when two or more Chapters, for whatever reasons, decide to join together and be just one Chapter. It's a lot like an arranged marriage and it can work well or poorly depending on the attitude of the people involved and sometimes the reasons for the consolidation, just like a marriage. And some of the same strategies that work for marriages work for consolidations, but there are a lot less counseling services available and there is no divorce so you better make it work. :-) In the case of the Chapter in which I was initiated, we were losing our meeting place because the Board for our Hall decided to sell it to a developer who was willing to pay A LOT of money for the land to build houses. So we decided to consolidate with another Chapter rather than just finding a new place to meet. Once you decide to bite the bullet and take the plunge, there are all sorts of very intricate rules and voting requirements, but the part everyone cares about is that three of your people meet with three of their people and one member of the Grand Chapter Consolidation Committee and settle down on the horse blankets to dicker. Whose name will we keep or will we come up with a new name? Whose Chapter number will we keep? It's usually the lowest one, but not absolutely always. Where will we meet? What night will we meet? How many times a month will we meet? What will our dues be? Who will be our first officers, and so on. Sometimes it is a piece of cake because the answers are already pretty well known. In the case of that first consolidation, most of the answers were sort of known in advance. We were losing our hall, so it was going to be their place. Our number was a lot lower, so we'd hang on to that. Since both our place names were geographic, changing to something more generic made sense. Our dues were pretty close, so we went with the bigger number. Everything got done and there we were. But I would say that the harder part comes after the Consolidation is over. And again, sometimes people settle right in and have no trouble after they work out who gets the right sink and who gets the left sink and I do the dishes and you take out the trash. But every now and then, thankfully not too often I hope, you get people who feel violated. They feel that all of a sudden, their home has been invaded by Those People. They don't think like you. They don't understand Your Traditions. They want to do things Differently Than We've Always Done Them. . . and so on and so forth. One of the ones I detest is "they got more things their way than our way." Come on people, it is not a scoring contest! Maybe we should consider adding some requirement that the Grand Chapter member that helps with the paperwork sticks around for a few meetings and helps get the Chapter thinking as one. I think sometimes that they need the help after the wedding almost more than before it. It is so like a marriage without pre-marital counseling, the comparison is scary. When people get married and move in together, (okay, I know most people nowadays do it the other way around, but work with me here), they each have to toss out their notions of The Right Way and work together to find The Right Way For Us. For some people it is totally easy. For others it seems to be close to impossible. That first consolidation was a little hard and rocky for a couple of years, but we worked it all out and found the way to make the Chapter about all of us. We combined activities and traditions and figured out what worked and what did not. We started out on one meeting night and ended up moving to another, but that was all okay too. That was in 1999. By 2002 when I was Worthy Matron again, I would say that the kinks had worked themselves out and we were tooling along pretty good. We were having fun and everyone knew each other's name. Hurray! Then in 2008, another Chapter came along and wanted to join us. We went through the process again and again decided to jump the broom, but that one was a little tougher to get to work. I think that there were people in that one that didn't want to get married to each other, just like you may love your spouse, but not be totally thrilled with your in-laws. However, it is a package deal, so you accept that now you are all one family and move on. As it happened, we did it again in 2009, but that one seemed to be a cakewalk. That second one in 2008 is the one that brought this Grand Representative into my current Chapter. What makes it really convoluted is that this particular member had moved out of the area about eight years ago and joined a Chapter in the central valley. So he was not local when we consolidated and although a Past Patron of my Chapter several times over (because all the Past Matrons and Past Patrons of all the Chapters in consolidation become PMs and PPs of the consolidated Chapter), I never actually belonged to his Chapter while he was serving in the East. And many of our newer members had never had the privilege of meeting him before, which was their loss because he is a great guy with a slightly twisted sense of humor, but that works for me. So you may wonder how come the reception was at my Hall when he lives in the central valley and belongs to a Chapter there too. Well, when a member is appointed Grand Representative and belongs to two Chapters, one of those Chapters is identified as the Chapter "out of which they are appointed." It can be sort of important, because we have a rule that no one Chapter can have two Grand Representatives. So if you have two people who belong to the same two Chapters, you have to appoint one of them out of one Chapter and the other out of the other Chapter. So, primarily since this member had not yet served as Worthy Patron in his new area, he was appointed out of my Chapter, so the reception was at my Masonic Hall. I am actually glad it worked out that way because it was my pleasure and privilege to be there to honor him. It was a lovely reception with good food of course. The other thing that is interesting about the whole process is that I have been told, and again, your mileage may vary, but I have been told that Grand Officers are not supposed to attend receptions for Grand Representatives or Deputy Grand Matrons unless they are for your own District or a close personal friend, so as not to overshadow the honored member. So this last Saturday was the only day that I attended a local reception and will probably be the only one I make all year. Yet all the Chairmen are told nowadays to send the invitation to all the Grand Officers and Past Grands and not just the local ones and the ones that belong to the same Chapters as the honored members, so I still haven't figured that one out. Next weekend I will be in Los Altos and Milpitas as we put on my very first workshop for my girls. I can't wait!

Jam and Jelly

This past Saturday was the annual Jam and Jelly Day. I have made this event three times now and there are few events with better food. That's saying a lot when you're considering events in the Order of the Eating Siblings. Unfortunately, the old TANSTAAFL rule still applies. (That's There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch, which I learned from Robert Heinlein in The Moon is A Harsh Mistress, one of my favorite books.) Please understand, I love this event, but the logistics sometimes leave just a bit to be desired. As with most OES events, before you get to eat, there are certain preliminaries that must be followed. The usual order (your mileage may vary) is that there is a welcome speech or two, then a prayer and the Pledge of Allegiance and usually the National Anthem is sung and then there is some escort and some introductions. That's all fine, but this event has some interesting tweaks. Let's start with a part that I like. Each Grand Officer, and a few other selected dignitaries, are given a special person to escort them into the hall. When you get to the front of the room, the Grand Officer introduces their special escort person and says a few words about them. You need to make sure that you meet the person ahead of time and get some information so that you have something to say about them other than just "what a very nice person this is" which may be true, but is not much of an introduction. Now in years past you had to know to show up with something to write on so you could ask some questions and take some notes. This year they made a great improvement by giving us an information sheet with some basic stuff already filled in. That is a great time saver because you can then ask about unusual or extra stuff to really liven up your presentation. This year I had the absolutely easiest time of anyone because my special person was a member of my Chapter and she and I had lots of history together so the tough part was choosing what not to say! We had a great time and I hope she gets to be my person next year too because I still have a bunch of great stuff saved up. So now let's go maybe not the best part. Because the Grand Officers and some dignitaries are going to be escorted in and introduced, they are lined up to do this, but they are lined up outside. We couldn't see or hear anything at all. Now I am told that if the speakers were working, we'd be able to hear, but we still couldn't see and here is this person giving a welcome speech and the guests that they are welcoming are all still outside. See the problem? I still had a good time because since we couldn't hear anyway, we amused ourselves by chatting while we waited and I probably had too good a time because a couple of times when we laughed, we got shushed and I am sorry if we disturbed anyone. But if we are the honored guests, how about doing that bit of escort and introductions first so we can see the rest of the program? On the other hand, I did have a lot of fun chatting, so maybe leaving us outside is okay. :-) Another not my favorite part is the number of self-introductions. Okay, I confess. I think the whole escort and introductions thing goes on too long. I can only sit for about two hours before my bottom falls asleep and I would rather be chatting and eating. It is true, mea culpa. But it is particularly frustrating when people are doing self introductions without a mike in a big room. You can hardly hear the introductions anyway and no one is quite sure when it is their turn, so there are pauses while people sort out who is going next. But eventually all of that is over and we can get back to the really fun part. You see at this event, the local Chapters each host a Grand Officer or two. The local Chapter members fix a picnic type meal, often full of home made goodies, and then you sit with that Chapter and eat whatever they brought. They always bring way too much so you have to pace yourself because everything is awesomely tasty and you don't want to run out of room. You can visit and eat and spend the most delightful time with the members. Of course if you are a real gourmand, (or perhaps glutton is a better word :-), then you go around to the other Chapters to say hello to the members and of course, they all offer you tastes of their goodies too, so you don't just get double or even triple desserts, more like four or five. It is also amazing to me how many of the Brothers in our Order cook. I had a pie slice made by one that was scrumptious and at another table, I had a fruit and rum mix inside a fried wonton wrapper with powdered sugar that was to die for also made by a Brother. Wow! Next weekend, I am going to some local receptions. I will not be in San Bernardino nor Buena Park.

A Little Lead Shot in the End of Your Baton

A week ago, I attended the reception for my hopefully soon to be little sister, the current Grand Marshal. There is a current tradition in California Eastern Star, which may or may not change any time soon, based on some current discussions and legislation, but still in effect for now, that the Grand Marshal chosen by the Worthy Grand Matron is the election designee for the office of Associate Grand Conductress. That's how I got where I am now and how almost every, but not quite all, other Grand Line officers got into it also. But lots of things made that job, and this just past reception interesting for me. To understand how this works, you need to understand a little something about the job which the WGM expects the Grand Marshal to perform. The details vary from year to year and WGM to WGM, so your mileage may vary, but the usual essentials are to take charge of coordinating the activities of the Grand Family, particularly the Appointive Grand Officers. This includes putting together a monthly schedule of activities, finding out what is going on at the activities from the chairmen of them, getting hotel room blocks set up so the traveling Grand Officers have somewhere to stay, finding out what the chairmen would like the Grand Officers to wear to the event and then checking and coordinating that with what the WGM would like them to wear to the event, making reservations and arrangements for meals between events as needed, working out details on dress orders and Fiesta booths, getting birthday and anniversary presents for the WGM and WGP and if desired, making arrangements for their quilts and license plates. After you've made all the arrangements, you then have to coordinate things at the events themselves, including seating for the Grand Officers and their escorts, check lists for different set up and introduction things, collecting and distributing presents to the Grand Officers and such other gopher tasks as arise. You also learn to carry around a kit or box with anything you think you may need to help out any Grand Officer at any time. I think my best rescue in 2009 was made possible by my timely possession of a seam ripper and the ability to run in high heels. :-) There are other duties that vary from year to year. I understand that this year's Grand Marshal was responsible for coordinating with the Deputy Grand Matrons also. In my year, the WGM had a chairman of deputies who was in charge of that. But I was in charge of making the WGM's and WGP's hotel reservations and I am told that my big sister did not have to do that. Some years you get other gifts or arrange other celebratory events. It seems to go down the lines with each person sort of setting expectations based on what they did when it was their turn. So basically, if the WGM and the WGP are Mom and Dad to the Grand Family, the Grand Marshal gets to be the older sister who is put in charge of her younger siblings, the Appointive Grand Officers. The analogy works best if you think of the elected officers as the Grand Marshal's older siblings, whom she also helps out enormously, but for whom she is less answerable because we are supposed to know how to do what we are doing and for the most part have been to the events and such before. The Grand Marshal is still an invaluable resource for the elected officers, and it is important to accord her the courtesy of keeping her informed on where we are and when we are coming to what and such because she is supposed to know where all the Grand Officers are at any given time. Besides, each of us ladies has been there and done that and knowing how hard the job is, we wouldn't want to make it any tougher on our little sister than it already is. But herding cats into a room full of rocking chairs is easy compared to keeping track of thirty-four adults, all of whom have cars and ATM cards. The emblem of the Marshal is the baton and it is customary for the WGM and WGP to present their Grand Marshal with a baton of office for them to use and then keep. But there were times when I wish that someone had had the foresight to hollow out the ends of my baton and put a little lead shot in there. A baton with a little more heft and balance sure would have come in handy a time or two. Oh well. Sigh! Because the Grand Marshal does so very much for everyone in her Grand Family, there is something very special about her reception because you have an added sense of happiness and gratitude in seeing her get honored by the members of the Order. You know that she has really earned every kind remark and every bit of applause. I was lucky enough to get to make the gift presentation to the Grand Marshal (every Grand Officer picks another's name out of a hat at the beginning of the year to do this) and tell her how much all of us appreciate everything she has done all year, with another ten weeks or so to come. Of course in return for this year of constant work from the Grand Marshal, there is an expectation that those who chose her and the appointives who served with her will do all sorts of things for her during her journey up the Grand Line, like when I helped with my big sister's Pre-Revealing because I was an appointive officer in her Grand Family of 2008. After you've had a person take care of you for an entire year, you really do enjoy getting to help her out as her years of service go forward. That part is a lot of fun. It was also another juxaposition event for me between my Star world and my SCA world. There were three more SCA people at the Grand Marshal's reception that snagged me to say hello and greet the visiting Royal Peer. :-) I fear that the word has gotten out and has spread through the South. But more than that was the fact that for me, the Grand Marshal's job felt very familiar. In the SCA, when a new royal couple is going to ascend to the throne, they often choose a person to be in charge of those who will serve them as lords and ladies in waiting. This person is usually called the Head of Court or Chief Lady, depending on the region. As it happens, I have served as Head of Court five times, so many of the tasks associated with Grand Marshal were not totally new to me. Hotel room blocks, that was new, since SCA people camp in pavilions and tents, but on the other hand, I didn't have to keep a list of what size tent each person had to lay out the Royal Encampment. Restaurant reservations were also new but I didn't have to find a steward to cook meals for twenty and thirty people at a time, so I think that one was a wash. Keeping track of who was going to be at what events and when was not new. That one is the same for both. Getting presents was not new. I did the gift baskets for most of my royals during their reigns and using gift bags instead of baskets was awesome. Do you have any idea how much room in the car eight full gift baskets can take up? The whole back seat sometimes. Or what sort of a pain it is to transport fifteen dozen roses in buckets half full of water to a camp site so that they can be given out as tokens during a tournament without getting water on every floor surface in your car? It's bad enough getting them into the car and driving to the site, but some sites don't let you drive on the grass, so the last quarter mile can be the real killer. Even with the experience of having done similar things though, the job of Grand Marshal is one of those things that is totally rewarding to do well and absolutely nothing anyone would want to do a second time. This weekend I will be in Union City and Santa Maria.

Castles and Titles

This weekend had several interesting events in Southern California. I started out by a visit to a Chapter that must have the shortest meetings I have ever seen in my life. Of course, they had no business to discuss and no topics of discussion in the meeting room, so it may have been shorter than usual, but they sure did go quick for the business part of the meeting. However, they also do a dinner each night and then have discussions in the dining room, so the total overall time for the "evening" is not any shorter than any other Chapter, but it is distributed differently. Because there is less time in the Chapter room, there is more time for social activities and I like that different ratio a lot. I wonder if other Chapters might give that model a shot just for maybe a meeting or two during the year rather than all meetings. Many Chapters used to have dinners three or four times a year and less of them do now because of the work involved in doing all the cooking and cleaning and such, but in a lot of areas there are some reasonably priced caterers who could come do the meal too. Doing one every meeting like this Chapter I visited does may be too expensive for some of our members, but an occasional meeting with dinner and more social time might be a great change of pace. Then on Saturday was an Association event and a Grand Officer reception. The Association event was held at Benedict's Castle in Riverside, and in addition to providing us with a great meal and lovely entertainment, holding it there benefitted Teen Challenge, a program that helps teens from troubled situations. It is always nice when our events can also do some good in the community. The dinner on Friday did that also. The theme of the afternoon event was medieval and of course pretty much everyone knows that when I am not doing Star, I do medieval re-creation in the Society for Creative Anachronism (SCA), so my girls in the area were looking forward to seeing me in one of my fancy outfits and here I was in our red travel suit for the year. I understand that the Worthy Grand Matron probably wanted all the Grand Officers in their travel suits so that no one would feel left out if some people had medieval clothes and some did not, so I don't fault her decision on that. But in my medieval group, when someone shows up to an event in modern clothes, some people call that wandering around naked and it made for some very funny comments when I arrived. The medieval culture shock continued into the evening because when I arrived at the Saturday evening reception, one of the Associate Patrons from that area walked up to me and said hello and then said that he had just found out that he had been addressing me incorrectly. For a moment I was puzzled, thinking maybe he was trying to verify my title was Associate Grand Conductress and not some other Grand Office. But no, that wasn't it. I found out what he was talking about when the next thing he said to me was, "I hope you will forgive me, Your Excellency," which is my correct title in our medieval group, but one that I never expected to hear at an Eastern Star reception. The look on my face was probably most amusing. The kind gentleman, whose proper medieval title would have been Honorable Lord by the way, proceeded to tell me about his activities in the SCA and called over three other people in the room who are also SCA folk and proceeded to introduce them and had me tell them about my SCA activities, which are of course mostly on hold right now and for the next three or four years. This kind person and I had a lovely discussion about the amount of cross-over we have found between the Masonic Fraternity and our SCA folk. I have two friends that recently joined the Lodge and then Star who I have known for decades in SCA also and he knew several more than he had introduced to me. I can appreciate the cross-over because it is the result of shared values. In SCA, we value courtesy, chivalry and service. My SCA motto, in English since its on my banners in Latin, is Honor above all Else and the motto of my household is From each according to their Ability, To each according to their Need. (No, it wasn't a communist household, but everyone was expected to do whatever they could and cover for others where needed. :-) The Masonic ideals parallel these values very much. At an SCA event, I can set up an encampment, leave my stuff lying around, go do other things and know that nothing of mine will be touched or missing when I return. Honor would not permit otherwise. At an Eastern Star function, I find out which seat is mine, dump my purse and tote bag there and go talk to people without any thought or fear that anything of mine will be missing, (although it may be moved over if I've guessed the wrong seat. :-) Where else in this world can I safely do that? So that same sense of comfort that comes from being surrounded by honorable people is present in both of these worlds to which I have given many, many hours, (and many, many dollars, too. :-) What is also amusing and interesting is that in many ways, my current journey up the Grand Line is a parallel to the journey I made fourteen years ago to the throne of the Principality of the Mists in the Kingdom of the West and the Viscountess title I hold in the SCA. (I was already excellent before that, having been made a Court Baroness some years before and some people value my other peerage, the Order of the Pelican, which I earned for service, more that the title I got for reigning but those are ongoing debates in the SCA which are fun, but not relevant. :-) In both cases, I was given the opportunity to serve by the hand of another, in Star by my selection as Grand Marshal and in SCA by the victory over the Coronet Lists by my fighter. Having gained the opportunity, it was and is my responsibility to use it well and earn by my own hand the title and honors that go with the job. In both cases, you serve with a partner of the opposite sex who is your co-leader and co-decision maker who you have chosen as the person with whom to share this experience. Both cases have a ramp up period where you are next in line but not in the office yet, to give you a chance to make plans, ask people to serve with you, chart out a calendar, decide on colors and emblems and clothing styles and such. Of course in SCA, we had eight weeks of ramp up before a six month term and Star gives us three years before a one year term, but in both cases, there is never enough time and you scramble to get everything done, find all your people and curse the calendar that just doesn't have enough weekends in it! Both cases require you to make decisions on matters that are good and those that are not so fun, to uphold the dignity of the position and the office, to serve the members even while in charge of them by bending your wishes to the needs of your people, and to remember that honor is accorded to you automatically by virtue of your office while you hold it, but that when your time is over and you hand the titles and honors over to the next person, how you will be remembered and if you will be respected depend greatly on the job you did and not just that you did it. (And every person who did it before you has their own ideas of how it should be done and hope you do it the way they did it. :-) I must say though, that being Princess is probably easier. When your word is Law, you give everyone a chance to voice their opinion, then you make a decision, then you announce your decision and everyone says, "Yes, Your Highness" and there's no more arguing after that. Of course, if what you've decided to do is have latrines dug in the middle of the fighting field, no one may able to find the shovels for six months so they just don't get around to doing the digging until after you step down and then it's too late, but at least there's no arguing. :-) I had a wonderful time as Princess back in 96-97 and I am told that on the one to ten scale, my reign with my Prince scored an eight, which is just about as good as it gets. I hope I can do as well in my current role and I am keeping my fingers crossed on it. I think that a lot of the experience of it will actually cross over well, at least it has so far. Next weekend, I am not able to go to Bishop and Mammoth, so next week I will write about the final event we had this past weekend, the Grand Marshal's reception.

I Hear The Train A Comin'

It's rolling round the bend, We're all on board committed till I don't know when. . . (With apologies to the late, great Johnny Cash - I do not care for country music, but I do like the work of the Man In Black, imagine that. :-) Okay, I was not really in prison, but I did do some hard time this weekend. Not because of the activities, which were actually very interesting and had some wonderful moments, but because we sat in chairs so long, I think I sprained the right side of my bottom. This past weekend was the Associate Matron/Associate Patron workshop. This is an annual event where the up and coming Grand Line Officers present a training and information events for their local officers from all over the state. It is usually held in the Associate Grand Matron's area or in a central location, depending on her preference. The theme for this one was All Aboard because of the train emblem being used by our Associate Grand Patron, which of course inspired my title today. I was invited to attend, along with the lady in line in front of me and all our subordinate officers. A few of mine signed up, but all but two of them were there for other reasons with other duties to do, so we didn't have a great deal of time to talk but I did have a nice chat during our break out session. I was familiar with most of the information presented, but the best part for me was the opportunity to see how it was presented, what people responded to positively, what things I would like to do the same someday and what I would want to do differently. One of the new features being presented was the idea of a discussion group activity after dinner in the dining room. A topic was proposed and a presenter/facilitator gave some bits of information on the topic to get the thought process going and then called on people to give their ideas and thoughts on the subject. There were some people in the room who expressed to me a measure of skepticism about this working. After all, they said, everyone is tired after a long day of sitting and you've just fed them a meal and now, at 8:00 pm, when they've been in one thing or another since 8:30 am, you want them to be interested? But it went very well and the moderator actually had to bring a halt to the discussion at 8:45 pm or I don't know how long we would have gone on. A friend of mine who expected it to work very well said that most everyone has an opinion on most everything and if you give them a chance to express it in a safe environment, they will all roll out, maybe even more than you want them to. I do think that the key to this working though, is having the right presenter/moderator. He was able to turn every comment into something positive and extract a lot of meaning out of each thing said. Knowing him fairly well (okay, I confess that he is a dear friend of mine and we were sitting together most of the weekend in the corner to be out of the way of the attendees), I could see where there was a time or two that he was thinking pretty furiously as he listened to the comments to come up not only with the positive spin on the thing, but how it tied into the comments that came before. You know, when you are talking about say football and someone pops into the discussion and says "I like blue" it takes you a minute to figure out what just happened and get back on track, but our moderator managed it, with only one or two torturous stretches to keep the conversation moving forward and in a positive way. He was so awesome at it that when our leaders were praising his skills and the work he had done, effusively but all completely deserved, I leaned over and asked if the job came with a cape and tights or if he had to bring his own. Some really exciting new ideas were proposed for next year and it was great to hear about them. It is always hard to be a leader in a time of transition because you try new things and you don't know how they will go, but the important thing is that you try them. If they go well, others can carry them forward. If they go badly, then those who come after have learned something useful for the Order for the future. The trying is all good, regardless of the results. But it does take enormous courage and I applaud those who take the chance. My marching music is The Impossible Dream and my favorite lines are at the end when the lyrics talk about how important it is to have tried and how we make the world better because we keep striving. And of course, I tell my girls that they are the dragon riders and to ride a dragon, you must be very, very brave!Of course, I am eager to see how it all comes out so that I can keep charting where my steps may go in the future. Next weekend, I am in Santa Monica, Riverside, Orange and back to Santa Monica.